Black and Milds, a little sports, and Top 10 video game characters with Swag

So, I've been thinking.  When I walk these mean streets of Downtown Cincinnati, there is always someone smoking a Black and Mild down here.  And boy do these things smell good.  I'm totally not into smoking them. In fact I'm allergic to smoke, so I never will smoke the darn things, but the smell is divine.  What I was thinking about is this: why do they not make Black and Mild smell in an air freshener for your car or house?  Why not make a plug-in with the smell of Black and Mild so you can smell it without dying of lung cancer?  How about Black and Mild cologne, and Strawberry Swisher perfume?

Anyway, that is my idea of the week.  If the folks at Middleton's can handle my request I would be grateful although it may backfire and I would smell like an ash tray or nightclub all the time.  In other news, the Bengals were said to have a pretty good draft this weekend.  Those of you who know me, know that I am passionate about the Reds, Bengals, and UK Wildcats. Would it be something if the Wildcats won # 8 which already happened, the Reds won the World Series which Sports Illustrated predicted pre-season, and the Bengals somehow pulled off a miracle and won the Super Bowl all in a row?  I know I'm dreaming but it is possible for the first time since birth.  All three weren't this good at the same time in my lifetime.

Back to the draft... The Bengals drafted Dre Kirkpatrick with their first pick.  He's a cornerback with a lot off hard hitting skills...the only thing that concerns me is that his nickname is Swag.  Swag?  Seriously? Does this guy think he's Jay-Z or something?  Now the Bengals have a Pac-Man and a Swag in their secondary.  It got me to thinking, which video game characters have had the most swag through the years?  Pac-Man had some until Mrs. Pac-Man came out and was way faster than Old Faithful.  Here's a list of the top 10 video game characters with swag according to me:

10. Jigglypuff.  Okay so here come the Pokemon nerds telling me Jigglypuff is a nobody in that game.  Well I'm here to tell you, the ball of fluff has swag.  Have you seen the hats this unisex creature pulls off in Smash Brothers?  How about its ability to put people to sleep on demand.  It flies and rolls in, literally. Swag points out of 10: 5.8

9. Bowser.  He's from the Super Mario Bro's series of video games.  This guy blew fire and caused havoc on the Italian plumbers for years.  You mess with fire you get burnt, Mario.  He has kidnapping on his rap sheet along with calling the shots over legends such as Koopa Kid and Boo. Bowser's almost a Don in Mario World.  Swag points out of 10: 6

8. Scorpion. Mortal Combat's own.  He is a boss from the game and what can be better than an undead ninja seeking revenge for family death and his own?  The guy dresses in swagger clothes so well Kanye West would be jealous. Swag points out of 10: 6.5

7. Tommy Vercetti.  This is the guy from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.  The guy was a shot caller by the end of the game, coming from nothing doing odd crime jobs.  But who doesn't like a guy who just goes around causing havoc stealing cars and picking up hookers?  He lives the life of a rap star. Swag points out of 10: 7

6. Donkey Kong. He's big, he's an ape, he's strong, and he eats bananas that give him energy like steroid pills.  This beast has been known to rip out the heart of Mario before joining forces with him and becoming a good guy in current games.  His swag can be felt from early Nintendo systems all the way to the Wii.  Swag points out of 10: 7.2

5. Zangief from Street Fighter.  This is not the most popular street fighter character, but he brings swag and force to the arena.  The beard and the mow hawk is a nice touch.  Swag points out of 10: 7.3

4. Earthworm Jim.  Yeah he's an earthworm, but yes he saves the world all the while balancing his flimsy body.  He has swag oozing from him, literally.  He'll rip your face in if you make fun of his outfit.  Only people with swag can wear such things. Swag points out of 10: 7.5

3. The boy from Zombies Ate My Neighbors.  Before the zombie craze became popular, this dude was saving the world from the zombie apocalypse all the while wearing 3-D goggles and a skull t-shirt.  He needed help from his apparent sister but this guy took out zombies without a manual or Ving Rhames. Swag points out of 10: 8.5

2. The unnamed shooter from Doom.  It was one of the first first person shooters ever and this guy beat up Satanic figures and demons and didn't give a damn doing it.  His attitude is what gives him the swag.  All you know about his looks is the face down in the bottom of the screen.  I remember spending hours playing this game as this unnamed guy, and you got to have a lot of swag to have 1 name.  Well....top no name then! Swag points out of 10: 9

1. Mario Mario.  First off, having the same last name as your first has even more swag than American Idol's Phillip Phillips' name.  I thought about naming my son Brooks Brooks that would be cool.  Hopefully the future wife wherever you are agrees!  The mustache, the chilling in sewers, the stash of coins, the eating of mushrooms, the chilling with the brother, the saving the hot princess, the riding of dinosaurs.  All of that is the definition of swag. Swag points out of 10: 10