Making lemonade out of lemons since May 12, 1985

When life hands you lemons you make lemonade. On my birthday in 2011, the first day off of my parent's health insurance plan, I had a miniature breakdown.  I was working security at the DHL airport and I was working 6 nights a week. Working the strange shifts they gave me left me as a zombie. You are never really awake and you are never really asleep. My mind was always on auto-pilot.  I was hitting a wall. I wasn't taking good care of myself and I really had no real reason to live.

On that day in 2011, my birthday, it all came to a head. I was standing, wanding people as they headed into work and BOOM! my blood pressure began to skyrocket.  I went down to a knee. My blood sugar rose to the 300's as well. I had no clue what was going on.  A co-worker of mine called for the supervisor.  They called them lieutenants there for some reason, but whatever. The lieutenant called 9-1-1 and I took the squad to the hospital.  This day was my rock bottom. I can honestly say it was one of the worst day in my life. All of my bills were going to have to be paid out of pocket because I had no health insurance.  My health, itself was not important to me.  

I kind of just gave up.  When you have type 1 diabetes, it's hard to explain, but it affects you in ways no one understands but other diabetics.  It tugs at your psyche. It is like carrying a rock on your back up a hill. Every day. Every single day.  Some days are clear and some days are storming, but every day you start at the bottom of the hill carrying this boulder on your back. This disease has no mercy. This disease has no breaks.  It breaks you down. It makes you disciplined. It affects your relationships and your social life. It affects every aspect of your life.  There are days I wake up fatigued and days I feel fine. On May 12, 2011, everything crashed and burned and there I was, sitting in the hospital, wondering what I had to do, to make it.  

Fast forward to today, May 12, 2016, my 31st birthday. I am here. I made it out of that dark place I was in. Hard work was part of it, but there are many reasons why I am here and in a happy place.  Firstly, angels.  Yeah, not the halo, flying angels on stained-glass windows, real life angels.  I am not a very religious person.  I grew up Catholic. I went through all the sacraments and I wear a crucifix on my neck every day.  But I don't actively practice. But people throughout my life have shown up to make me laugh, to cheer me up and to carry me when I need carrying. I can't thank them enough for this.

Secondly, friends and family.  To me, family are friends and friends are family.  They've seen me go through some stuff, man. Like, life or death stuff. They've also seen me triumph over all of that.  They make me laugh and make me smile every day.  I'd give you all a shout out but you know who you are.

Thirdly, my fiance. Amy has been there for me since I met her a couple of years ago.  We have been engaged for a year now and she puts me before herself often.  I'm high maintenance and very needy. She doesn't care and is happy to help me.

Finally, attitude changed everything.  That day in 2011 when I went to the hospital, I was pessimistic about life. I didn't see a point in fighting anymore. I saw no hope. I hated my job, I hated my diseases, I hated the way I treated myself. That day, I chose to take better care of myself. I woke up everyday with a positive attitude. I went back to trying to make someone smile every day. I realized making others happy makes me happy.  You know how in Elf, Santa's sleigh runs on believers, well I run on smiles. Then, Shelli Hill. She helped me get on at Great American, I was able to get on for the benefits and it literally changed everything.  I didn't have to spend thousands every few months out of pocket on insulin.  I was back and better than ever.

Now, I sit in front of you five years later, a better person. A disciplined person. A happy person. Hopefully, a good friend to everyone I meet. A stronger person. A loving person. A funny person (although Amy would tell you otherwise). I always tell people, I'm so sweet God made me a diabetic.  I have to live up to it, and I'd be lying if I told you I do everyday, but most days are good days and I am thankful to God for blessing me with these 31 years and I am so grateful everyday.