We had fun with Shake n Blake and the return of Boomer.
Even the bright spots, however, were still bad years. Until Marvin arrived, most of the years were rough. Marvin was a savior when he first arrived he could do no wrong in the eyes of most Bengals fans. He would be the sports equivalent to a messiah if he could just get the team to 8-8, and I'll be damned if he didn't do that.
He flirted with making the playoffs in his debut year of 2003, but ultimately fell short. That year, he did draft Carson Palmer, who learned on the sidelines, and in 2005, Marvin took the Bengals back to the playoffs. That became the Kimo Von Oelhoffen game where the 3 seed Bengals were upset by their rival, and ultimately the Super Bowl champions, Pittsburgh Steelers. Von Oelhoffen, a former Bengal, actually rolled over the the leg of Palmer, tearing up his knee after he completed a 60+ yard pass to the late Chris Henry. The Bengals since that game, have gone back to the playoffs in 2009, 2011, 2012, and 2013 losing in their first game each time. During the Marvin era, we again had fun with Chad Johnson's celebrations, and TJ's tds, but that faded into disappointing seasons and Carson decided to leave.
With Dalton and Green drafted in the lockout year of 2011, their luck turned right back around where they made the playoffs for three straight years, but still as I stated earlier, lost each time. Sorry about this long intro to the list. I could have actually written for hours longer, but I'd like to get to my list, so without further adieu, here are the 20 things, in gif form, a new Bengals fans should know:
20. Your team will draft superb athletes (sarcasm), like Andre Smith in the 2009 draft.
19. Your team will get used to left handed throws from their quarterbacks, like Gus Frerotte's left handed interception (he's right handed) to the rival Browns.
18. When you finally have hope a former teammate, playing for the hated Steelers, will come and crush your dreams of winning a playoff game.
17. Don't ever get used to your team getting a big-name free agent.
16. Get used to players showing up more on your police scanners and arrest sheets than in the stat sheets, unless of course, it's missed tackles.
15. Don't watch games when Bengals play in prime time, because we all know they don't show up for big games. Just ask Kevin Huber, who got his collarbone broken in a 2013 Sunday Night Football game where the Bengals got routed by the Steelers.
14. Speaking of punters, you better have a good one, because when your team isn't turning the ball over they will be punting, especially in the late 90's. Field position baby.
13. Plan on your team disguising how bad they are by proposing to cheerleaders after scoring.
12. Be ready for your most famous fan to be the legendary Bootsy Collins.
11. Be ready for heart break season. Some say it's before Christmas. Not in Cincinnati, they break your hearts on Wildcard Weekend in January.
10. Get ready for everyone to refer to your team as the Bungles. Yes it's old, yet people still think it's funny and original.
9. Especially in the 90's this one was the case. Expect to do something else when the Bengals' play at home on Sundays. The game will be blacked out.
8. Expect that they will never fire the messiah, Marvin Lewis. No matter how bad he does, he is still better than before--- on the bright side.
7. Expect gray hair....trust me on this one.
6. If your like me, expect to be angry all week after a tough loss (one of the many problems with there only being one game a week, you sweat a loss wayyyy too long).
5. You will be excited when you realize they at least aren't the Browns or Steelers (sorry for the cliche piss on Browns image).
4. You will have glimpses of glory when players like Corey Dillon break records (and then they leave angry at the organization, but we are only focusing on positives).
3. Get used to players quitting on your team.
2. Your team will ruin superstar athletes' careers like Bo Jackson, and ignite other superstars like Brett Favre.
1. When all else fails, we have to rely on a ginger to attempt to lead us to the promised land.
