In light of me retrieving my Myspace blogs and in the spirit of Throwback Thursday, here is one of my excerpts that I re-read and it helped me to get through these tough times I'm having with my hands and my feet. I'm almost positive I have peripheral neuropathy. At least my endocrinologist believes it to be. It is common in diabetics and it just makes my life miserable. It makes me feel tingling and pain in my hands and my feet. I haven't written down these feelings at all and I have kept how I feel from most people. Friday night I had a breakdown about it and I knew then that I have to spill out what I have been going through (Thanks to Laura Brungs, Brad McIntosh, Devan Daily, and Nicolette for helping me through that time). I put a smile on my face everyday and I am doing my best to not let it affect my everyday life, but I am not going to lie, it's been in the back of my mind every moment since August. I am on meds that are calming my nerves and tomorrow I will be learning a lot more about it at my appointment. I am not going to lie, I'm scared. I'm not the type to seek pity from anyone. I don't like talking about my problems or diseases and I certainly don't want people to treat me any different for them. I just wanted to write this because this is my journal. You guys have lived with me through the good times and bad while reading my words so I have no problem sharing this with you. If I have treated you any worse in the last few months and you thought I wasn't myself, this is why. It has driven me from being able to do things I enjoy doing but I still play volleyball but it just hurts more after. I have had pain in these three months more than I have had since I first got diagnosed with diabetes in 1997. It has driven me to tears several times and through it all I smile through the tears, because I want no one else to be affected by my issues and I just want my family and friends to get the same old me who cheers everyone else up. I love and appreciate you all and I want you to know that I am going to beat this bastard body of mine and I will still be there to be the friend I am to all of you. Please don't show me mercy. I don't like that. I just thought you all should know and it feels better already writing it down on paper. Yeah I'm scared, but I made an oath to myself to take care of myself and I want to be here a long time and I will be. I'm stronger than all you guys give me credit for I just hide what I'm truly fighting. I have only shared this with a few people until now and it feels like a relief to announce it this way. Don't treat me any differently please. That just makes me sad. And for some reason I'm tearing up writing this... What the Hell? Now for what you've all been waiting for. The Throwback Thursday part of the blog that inspired this blog. Sorry I wasn't a very good blogger back then. I've definitely improved.
Peace
Now to my throwback blog from 1/24/2007-Written on Myspace
Straight Up Thoughts
What's up people? I haven't just talked to you
guys in quite some time. I've been hiding behind awards, and Pat Diesel, and
anything else, but here goes some straight talk.
I've been sitting here thinking... What is my purpose in life? Everyone has a purpose I just don't know what mine is yet.
Also, why do people go through life just being mad all the time? At the beginning of the summer, when I became single, I made a vowel to never get mad. For the most part that's been the case, I haven't been really that mad. The only thing that has pushed me through the edge from now and then was the Bengals loss to the Steelers on New Years Eve, and I fixed that with tequila that night.
Another thing, why does the world have to be such a rough place? Why does life happen to us why we are busy making other plans... Why are we always working? Why not sit back and enjoy life every once in a while. I do and it feels great. It makes me forget about my diabetes and it makes me think of only good things.
Why is school getting less and less entertaining. I've been there so long. I'm getting tired of it. I've been going since I was 5 years old. I'm 21 now soon to be 22.
What is the point of life? Is it to be happy? to have fun? to feel like you meant something? Why isn't everyone doing that? Whether you dont have a dime or have 18 million bucks it shouldnt matter. Money is not happiness... Just live your life and be happy.
That's the problem I see with the social landscape today.
D.W.B.J.
I've been sitting here thinking... What is my purpose in life? Everyone has a purpose I just don't know what mine is yet.
Also, why do people go through life just being mad all the time? At the beginning of the summer, when I became single, I made a vowel to never get mad. For the most part that's been the case, I haven't been really that mad. The only thing that has pushed me through the edge from now and then was the Bengals loss to the Steelers on New Years Eve, and I fixed that with tequila that night.
Another thing, why does the world have to be such a rough place? Why does life happen to us why we are busy making other plans... Why are we always working? Why not sit back and enjoy life every once in a while. I do and it feels great. It makes me forget about my diabetes and it makes me think of only good things.
Why is school getting less and less entertaining. I've been there so long. I'm getting tired of it. I've been going since I was 5 years old. I'm 21 now soon to be 22.
What is the point of life? Is it to be happy? to have fun? to feel like you meant something? Why isn't everyone doing that? Whether you dont have a dime or have 18 million bucks it shouldnt matter. Money is not happiness... Just live your life and be happy.
That's the problem I see with the social landscape today.
D.W.B.J.
_____________________________________________________________________
Winner of the Day: Juvenile Diabetics. Yes all of you out there. Jonathan Stefanopoulos, Devan Dailey, That one Jonas Brother, Jay Cutler, The lead singer of Poison, Pfieff Dogg from my favorite Rap Group A Tribe Called Quest, Jay Leeuinburg, and anyone I forgot to mention. Dude I get you all, and no matter how much you try man, no one else gets it but us. This month is Diabetes Awareness month and we have one month to give ourselves pats on the back, unfortunately it follows Breast Cancer Awareness month, but this small blog is to give all of you out there with type 1 diabetes a voice and that I know how tough the grind is every day. Keep grinding all of you!
Quote of the Day: God has brought you to it and he will bring you through it.-unknown
A Facebook Status I wrote at the beginning of the month:
Song of the Day: Tracks of My Tears by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
The post is written in very a good manner if you want more information something like visit san antonio pain management get more details.
ReplyDelete