Heaven landed a Hell of a Man Last Night

I first moved into my current house in 8th grade.  Next door was this house with a couple of beat up old trucks, and a bearded man.  This guy looked like one of those axe murderers out of a horror movie.  He was quiet but always outside.  As a youngster, I'd be scared to go into his yard because he seemed like a don't come in my yard type of dude.  It was kind of like Home Alone though.  You have to lose the intimidation factor and just talk to the guy.  He ended up being a really cool guy.  I went on several fishing trips with the man, and began to get to know him.  The first one was with my friend Robert.  We stayed up all night, and he wasn't lying when he said he'd be ready at 5.  Usually people say a time early in the morning but it always ends up being an hour later.  He was in the front of his house in a rusty Bronco with a tent on the side.  Complete redneck style...he had dogs humping each other in silver on the sides of it which was quite humorous.  He made us eat at Hardee's and would never eat anywhere else.  He then took us to this place called the 'hole in the wall' down on the river and all he did was make fun of us for the way we fished.  Robert and I were definitely not experts like he was.  Robert finally reeled in something.  Ron came up to net it and it ended up being a boot.  I swear it kept a smile on his face for a week, on how ridiculous he thought that was.  My dad ended up becoming best friends with him.  My dad saw him as a fatherly figure.  The guy would drink hooch regularly and he had nicknames for anyone that moved.  He didn't believe in cursing in front of women and he always put Ms. in front of their names.  He had a mouth like a sailor though; don't let it fool you.  He enjoyed horseshoes, darts, cornhole, fishing, and basically anything else manly.  He always had wing nights on Tuesdays and participated in Thirsty Thursdays.  And by golly the man could fix anything.  One of the last things he did with me was laugh at me for running out of gas, but that's how he was.  He'd pick on you.  Sometimes it was teasing and sometimes it wasn't. He's fixed so many projects around the house and it was funny because he'd stare at an item for like an hour before he'd decide the exact place for it to go or what to do with it.  My dad and him did everything from the laundry chute in the bathroom to refinishing that table outside on my back deck.  And he was as stubborn as they came.  The doctors told him there was a problem with his heart a few years ago and said if he didn't stop smoking like a chimney and drinking hooch daily that he would die within a year.  Well they were wrong.  He stayed true to himself, and went out doing what he enjoyed 3 years after.  He hated wearing shirts, and I'm guessing he'd wear nothing if the law allowed it.  He always had the coolest facial hair and he does have the coolest grandson.  He made these baked beans called f*cked up beans that are the best tasting thing I've ever had as a side dish.  He never revealed his secret ingredients, and frankly we never wanted to know.  He was the protector of our street.  If people were suspicious, he'd scare them off.  He's kicked my own friends out of our pool because he didn't think they had permission.  There are so many great stories and things about him I'm missing in this blog so it won't do him justice, but I wouldn't be the man I am today if it weren't for him.  He had a I don't care what you think of me attitude, and he lived by it.  If Jesus has a swimming pool up in Heaven, he has someone to make sure no one's going to get in there why he's out performing miracles.  My neighbor is up there leaning against some beat up Ford Bronco, with his shirt off, blowing smoke into the air reunited with his son, Russell who he lost too soon.  They are chatting about man things, and waiting for the rest of their buddies and family to throw a wing night.  Heaven landed one hell of a man last night.  Rest in peace Ron Losey.

Ron Losey