My year in meeting new People, Ohio Drivers, Getting my licence, & Kim Jong-il

Coming up next week, I will be doing my year in review blog including the winners and losers of the year.  The awards blog is something I used to do in the old MySpace blogging days, and I thought I'd bring the tradition back.  2011 was a roller coaster of a year for me.  In January, I had no idea where my life was going to be.  My body was rotting away, working at a parking garage.  I applied the hell out of applications.  I filled out hundreds upon hundreds of applications.  I had a few call backs after sending in my resume to Channel 5 and Channel 9.  I was feeling confident.  I wore my suit and everything.  I never got hired on at either place.  In April, I took a job working nights as a security officer.  The job paid well and I made some really good friends working there.  You do a lot of talking working security because there is a lot of dead time.  I hated the job.  It brought a lot of stress on and working nights, when I was off which wasn't much because I worked 6 shifts a week, I was a zombie.  I was never really awake, but never really asleep.  I would never know the hours I'd be working because my position allowed me to work overtime like every night.  I hated it.  It sucks not knowing how much sleep you were going to be getting on a given night.  I met Frank at the job.  He was in his 80's and he was one of the coolest old men I've ever met.  He'd talk your ear off and he was always willing to work overtime.  I met Roger Brandenburg as well.  I made up a food chain if I ever get a loan.  We'd call it Brandenburgers.  Here was the logo for it:

I met Alice (the fan of sci-fi stuff like Dr. Who) and Chad Pendelton.  Chad thinks he's better than me at Wiffleball.  The dude even saw this and still believes it.  So naive.

Chad loved my Bernie though.  He made me do it through the X-Ray things at work, and if you ever wanted to get through security, do it through the DHL hub at the airport.  Guys like me were running security over there for God's sake.  Here's the Bernie Chad loved so much.

I met Ireland who I don't know how he worked the amount of hours he did.  He was a freak of nature who knew tons about technology.  I worked with the 3 Brians on Saturday mornings.  Overstreet, the boss, Keller one of the coolest people that worked at that place, and Williams, a tall black man who had been through so much awesome stuff in his life.  He had a story for everything.  He bought my old pool table off of me which allowed me to buy the 40 inch television that is now in my room.  During my time there, stress got to me pretty bad and I developed this abscess under my armpit and it got so bad I had to have it surgically removed.  Also on my birthday, the day I turned 26, I hit my rock bottom with my health.  My birthday was also the day I lost my insurance.  I was rushed from work to the ER on my birthday.  I nearly passed out.  I had a lethal case of high blood pressure and high blood sugar.  I vowed then and there I was going to change.  Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to get back up.  The second half of the year was on the up and up.  I owe Mitch Hammond my life for helping me get an interview for the opportunity I have right now at Great American.  I started here about 6 months ago and my life has changed for the better.  My coworkers here are amazing.  I met Nicolette from working here, who has been an amazing friend....I had a roller coaster of a ride in our friendship to say the least...which is a microcosm of my entire year... and I get to work with Mindy who without her, I wouldn't have lasted 3 days on the job.  I work in front of Bill who I can play my one liners off of and he knows a little about fantasy football.  I became closer to Jill, a friend of mine who gave me her bus passes when I first started here and we do lunch every now and then.  She's an avid blog reader.  I became better friends with Mallory who is Mindy's good friend.  We meet her for lunch once every other week ago.  I owe her for talking me into a second trip to Burrito Joe's because I love it now!  This year also brought me closer to my friend, April.  She got her first house in Bellevue, which is a city where there should be a statue built of me somewhere.  I get to see her a lot more and we have gotten a lot closer than the good friends we already were.  Through April I met Maria.  Maria was someone I knew of, but never really talked to until she gave me some relationship advice.  She reached her hand out for a complete stranger, and you all know me I hate getting advice, but with her I was so grateful.  She asked me to comment on Ohio drivers today, and it's the least I could do after what she's done for me.  This part is for Kelly Clarkson's number one fan...  Okay when I was younger, I heard my dad complain about Ohio drivers.  I don't believe in superstitions, jinxes or anything like that, so when you say well if you live on one side of a river it determines whether you are a good driver or not.  I thought it was ludicrous (yes spell checked helped me because the only way I knew how to spell it was Ludacris like the rapper) to believe someone from Ohio could suck at driving just because they were from Ohio.  At 16, like any other kid I wanted my licence really bad.  I went and took my temps test with minimal studying because I hate studying and the first hurdle I had was the vision test.  Back in high school I had 20-20 vision.  The lady kept saying, "Which sign is popping out?"  I said, "I'm not sure. 1?" She was like, "Try again." I said, "2?" "No." "3?" "Nope."  I was like, "Ma'am I promise you I have depth perception but I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing."  She told me the proper answer and let me go on to the test, which I passed by one point.  Sarah, my sister, took three tries to pass.  I have bragging rights. Anyway, at my driver's test I took it with a large woman as my tester or whatever you call them.  She had trouble fitting in my 1986 Chevrolet Cavalier station wagon.  My dad found this car for 250 bucks and I loved it.  The radio didn't work unless you punched it from time to time and the horn was put in by my dad and it was so weak it sounded like John C. Reilly's fart in Step Brothers. The windshield wipers were ghettofied.  You had to turn them on by a switch down by the pedals.  At the test, the lady was like, "Turn on your windshield wipers."  I reached for the switch.  The lady said, "Sir I said the windshield wipers."  I flipped the switch and said, "I'm sorry ma'am.  They turn on down here."  She looked at me with a grumpy face and squeezed in.  I tried to put the seat back for her, but it wouldn't budge.  She looked so uncomfortable almost like how it looks when you have an over stuffed draw but you slam and slam it until it goes in.  The whole time driving I kept going, I'm going to fail.  I'm going to fail.  I got to this red light and I was supposed to go left once it turned green.  I was so nervous so I wasn't thinking clearly.  The light switched.  I began moving.  I heard a gasp from the passenger seat and a yell, "STTTTTOOOPPPPPP!"  I looked up a pedestrian was crossing.  I had almost hit someone during my test.  I for sure had failed.  During my parallel parking I parked at least two feet from the curb because I knew hitting the curb is an automatic fail.  I was willing to risk getting a point taken off and salvage like a high failing grade.  I pulled into the finish and the lady handed me the scoresheet.  She said something along the line of "Congratulations."  I couldn't believe it.  I had passed by one point.  She only took two points on for nearly hitting that person.  I believe she was just scared to ever see me again.  Laura, my sister, failed her first try so I have bragging rights over her.  Anyway, that awesome feeling when you go back to school and hold up your licence is one of the best feeling in the world.  Once I got on the road, I was scared to drive in Ohio, because downtown looked so intimidating.  Of course I began drifting over here.  Believe it or not I am a risk taker.  Everything is one way over here.  Everything.  The problem is if you pass up where you are going you have to go all the way around the block.  The people that are from here (you can tell who they are because they have to have licence plates on both sides of their car) refuse to follow the rules.  They randomly stop.  They cut you off and slam on their brakes.  None of them are polite enough to let you over.  Ohio has no signs to point you in the right direction.  I remember one time Stu and I were driving home from UC in Clifton and somehow ended up in Delhi.  I think their terrible driving is truly a reflection of where they are from.  They are rude.  They don't care about other drivers.  I am a defense first driver anyway, but if I'm near an Ohio driver I go to super defense mode; I'm even scared to yield because I was rear ended by an Ohio driver because I yielded and he was dreaming about Jim Tressel or something and slammed right into me.  I often tease my sister Laura about her driving but even she's freaking A.J. Foyt compared to Ohio drivers.  They are always in such a God Damn hurry for no reason at all.  Why is this world always in a hurry?  There is no point.  Speeding may get you to a stoplight faster.  Stop and smell the roses every once in a while.  Ohio drivers don't.  You don't want to be them.  I'm a slow mover.  My mom always says I was born two weeks late and never caught up.  So I take my time.  I appreciate the little things. I pay attention to detail.  I notice things no one else does.  It's not a coincidence.  It's just because I take time to digest.  We've all had that encounter with an Ohio driver.  Just be careful because they are a product of where they come from.  It's not a stereotype when it's true and I've never seen a good Ohio driver.  If you've seen one let me know, because I'd love to take a ride with them and blog about it!

Winner of the Day: The world.  Kim Jong-il died, from being il.  His son is taking over which is scary because they say he may be even crazier than his dad who wanted to blow the world up.  God help us. We win today though, because Kim is dead.  Not the Kardashian Kim we aren't that lucky. The story.   In this year, we lost Bin Laden, Gaddafi, and Jong-il.  The new Axis of evil is dead.  Now what? P.S. Way too much head room in this picture.

Loser of the Day: The Jets.  They lost to Philly, whom they have never beaten in their history.  Now let's hope the Bengals win out and the Jets lose at least one of their next two.  Then Cincy gets in the playoffs. And Fireman Ed is a douchebag.

Quote of the Day: In life, we choose whether or not we want to be a winner or a loser. -Patrick Boles


Song of the Day: The Climb by Miley Cyrus (This is for a close friend of mine.  They know who they are.  I don't even know if you like Miley but it doesn't matter.  You get so many mountains that God asks you to climb and I really want you to listen to the lyrics).  

Noodle of the Day: The lasagna noodle.