If Mike Tython grew up ath Me and a Justin Bieber story.

So today I want to talk about Title 9 and how professional sports should never be integrated with women and men....just kidding.  I am finished with the sexism talk and I have moved on to a new topic.  In a previous blog, 

Mike Tython, Charlie Sheen, Giant Sloths, Living Forever, and Diabetes...oh and Chaz is still in on DWTS, obviously I talked about an actual sexist, Mike Tyson or as I referred to him Mike Tython.  Here is the quote from the blog I wrote on Mr. Tython. As the blog states, he is a major sexist.  I refer to him as an awesome guy, but I in no way condone his treatment of women.  I was referring to him in context as Mike Tython the comedian not Mike Tython the sexist bastard that he is.  He is a crazy interview.  He has told a female reporter once, "I wanna make you my girlfriend," and "I don't do interviewth wiff women unleth I fornicate wiff them."  He is a true sexist and a wife beater. To compare him to me is an apple and oranges comparison.  I figured as a transition to get off of these low vibes that my blog has been creating lately, and by request from my friend, I would write in the point of view of Mike Tython if he lived in my shoes for a day.  He would have my brain and life, but his body and voice if that makes any sense at all.

If Mike Tython Grew up ath Me.

Goth I hate diabeteths. I blame my father becauthe of hith geneth.  It'th okay though.  I know he meanth well and I love him to deaf.  I have thethe thudden urrgeth sthometimeths to eat children.  I don't know where that cometh from.  Maybe I've lived in two bodieth or sthomethin.  I don't know.  I want a tattoo but Dad disthaproveths.  I had thith dream that I got one on my facce. It'ths really weird it almostht feels like I've done it before.  I think it would look really cool.  

I love my job.  I work in inthurance. it'th not really what I went to sthchool for but I love the people I work with and I feel like I fit in.  I get thethe momenths of anger though. I don't know where they come from.  I juthst wanna punthch people in the damn fathe. I feel really sthrong, but really I'm sthy and people don't realize I'm a gentle giant and wouldn't hurt a fly unleth you really get on my nerveths then I would punch the hell out of your eye.

I love my family.  They alwayths have my back.  I don't work well with them in team sthporths though esthpethially volleyball.  They jutsht get stho damn angry.   I don't really know how to deal with it.  Sthometimeths I justht feel helpleths with them on my court.  

Dating isth fun.  I have sthweet charm and I try to hold my terreths in.  All tha ladieths love me.  Goths now I justht wanna do the Dougie.  I love to danthe eventhough I'm not really that good but I don't care what people think of me.  I'm Mike Tython. It doethn't really make thence at all that I have a different name than the rest of my family.  I don't quethton it though.  I jutht go with the flow.

I am really on an ithed tea kick lately.  I love ithed tea.  I quit drinking pop and ithed tea is really hitting the preverbial sthpot lately.  I hope it makeths me lean and mean even though I'm built like a MAC truck. 

I really feel like I lived in a giant manthion and dated the beautiful Robin Givenths and I feel like sthes had an affair with Brad Pitt sthinthce me and I ****in hate it.  Here I am thiths average Joe, quite sthexy I may add, but I feel like I did date thisth chick. Sthorry if I offended all of you sthexistht out there with calling her a chick but I'm ****in Mike Tython.  I don't care.  

I hate having a sthweet toof.  God wasth toying wiff me when he gave me a sthweet toof and diabeteths.  It'ths okay though.  I know I need to take better care of mysthelf but it'ths really hard. sthugar iths like my addiction.  I often sthay, "I'm stho sthweet, God made me diabetic." I know right? Very cute.  Wilferd Brimely isth an awesthome guy how he sthaysth dia-beeeethuths. It makesth me laugh.  God I'm stho happy I don't have a stpeech impediment. 

Well ladieths and gentleman, I'm off to cauthse havoc.  Peasthe out! 

Winner of the Day: Keyshaun Johnson,  this former NFL Player chased Justin Bieber away from his mansion after he was speeding and doing other things an adolescent would do in their gated community. The story: http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/follow-that-ferrari-justin-bieber-chased-by-exnfl-player-keyshawn-johnson-after-alleged-speeding-in-25mph-zone-in-la-8635682.html

Loser of the Day: Us.  My Wednesday night volleyball team got blown out three games in a row.  I have never lost three games that bad in the history of playing volleyball.

Quote of the Day: "I'm a dreamer. I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds."-Mike Tyson

Song of the Day: Stu's Song by Ed Helms

Cheesy old wrestling photo of the Day: