GIFs of the 20 best Better Than Dalton Tweets

I created a Twitter account after the disastrous Thursday Night Football game the Bengals had against the Browns on December 6.  The theme was to put everything better than Andy Dalton's 2.0 QB rating performance on a twitter page, so I created @ShitAboveDalton. You can see some of the timeline below and also follow the page if you haven't already.


Tweets by @ShitAboveDalton

Since I've been on this GIF kick lately, I decided to do GIFS of 20 of my favorite Better than Dalton tweets.

Honorable Mentions:

20. 

19.

18.

17.

16. (This one needs sound so it's Youtube)

15.

14. 

13. Uncle Rico

12.

11.

10.

9. 

8.

7. 

6.

5. 

4.

3.

2.

1.

Well,  I hope you enjoyed the list, and there are plenty more on the twitter page itself, just not with the gifs, so check them out!

How the Snuffleupagus helped me come up with 10 questions logical people would ask about Fictional Worlds. (Gifs Included)

So I was talking with my girlfriend last night and somehow the great muppet from Sesame Street, Mr. Snuffleupagus, was brought up. I came up with the question, how in the world does this species reproduce? The only known creatures of this species are family members of Snuffy.  He has no one to marry and so on.  He stays in a cave with his family, and according to Muppet Wiki, he is eternally 4 1/2 years old. The snuffleupagus is very similar to the elephant in size so I looked up some facts about elephants just for comparisons sake.

• According to allaboutwildlife.com , an elephant can live up to 60 and 70 years (if all goes well for the beast, which is rare). 
• According to elephanttag.org, male elephants begin producing sperm at 10-15 years of age.  

Reading about this and knowing Snuffy will stay 4 1/2 years old forever, he can never reproduce, which is a shame, but knowing he is technically immortal, it is safe to say that Snuggleupagi (I guess that is the plural) will never go extinct in the Muppet world. 

Mr. Snuffleupagus

This gave me an idea.  Why don't I do 10 questions logical people would ask about fictional worlds?

1. In Toy Story, how do the toys know exactly when Andy is coming?  Every time he says something when he walks in while the toys are all gathered together or something, which gives them a clue to get back to where they go.  But he can't always tip them off.  He had to have opened the door once or twice without them knowing when he's coming.  Just saying.

2. Speaking of Toy Story, why does Buzz play a toy when he feels like he is a real space ranger?  This makes no sense.  He talks all this smack when he's with the toys about being a real space ranger yet when a human walks in, BAM! He plays a toy.

3. In Rookie of the year, how in the world is Henry Rowengartner able to play in the Major Leagues?  As a baseball fan in Cincinnati, I know that the great Joe Nuxhall was the youngest player to play Major League Baseball at 15.  This was in 1944 (The record still stands today). Rowengartner is 12 in the movie.  When Rowengartner made his debut, it was long after MLB made a rule that no one younger than 16 can sign with a team.  So how did he get on the team legally?  Let's just not talk about it Hollywood.  No one will wonder. 

4. In Hey Arnold!can someone explain to me how he puts his shirt on?  His head is clearly larger than the collar allows to stretch. His shirt is not a button up.  This is just impossible. And how was he delivered at birth?  He can't possibly come natural out of the vagina; he must have been c-sectioned.

5. Why does Winnie the Pooh wear a shirt but no pants?  I'd rather him be topless than bottomless.  If there is a need in a fictional world of Pooh's existence to wear clothes, why give him a shirt with no pants. What the hell?

6. Why is it that no one can tell Clark Kent and Superman are the same dude?  It seems clear to me that all he does as a disguise is put glasses on.  When I take my glasses off everyone can still tell it's me, yet in his world, nope.  Everyone is clueless.

7. In Orange is the New Black, why are there never any officers in the chapel?  That's the place the characters like to get busy. No one is ever there to catch them in the act.  How can this be?  Low security or not, someone would be there.

8. In Breaking Bad, how does it take an amazing DEA agent like Hank to get suspicious about Walt being Heisenberg?  I love the show but Walt changed his appearance.  He always made lame excuses.  He started getting a temper.  A good DEA agent would notice this especially with Walt M.I.A. just plain missing for long periods of time.

9. In the Walking Dead, why do they insist on not covering themselves up with zombie odor to keep the zombies from noticing them?  This was a strategy that worked early on in season one, and they hardly use it anymore.  Why?  It keeps you from getting killed.  I don't care how bad it smells.  If your life is on the line, cover up.

10. How in the world do mermaids mate?  I know some of you out there think they are real which is absurd, but how are they mating?  They have human bodies but fish bottoms, with no reproductive organs.  How do they even urinate?