2013. In a year that marijuana became legal in 2 states, the royal family of England had a new baby. All I have to say to that is who the hell cares? Last I checked we won our independence from England over 230 years ago so why should we care about the royal family? Why all the hype? Please explain it to me. Benjamin Franklin would be appalled that so many Americans were anxiously awaiting a baby to be born from Prince William of the freaking UK. And when was the last time that the royal family did anything significant in their own country? You can't think of it either.
Now that I got that out of the way, I have always done an awards of the year stemming back to my Myspace blogging days. They were called The Diesel of the Year Awards, but on this new blogger format, I have called them the Brainey's. They are kind of like high school superlatives. These are the winners, losers, and other things of 2013:
Winner of the Year: Boston. The Red Sox won the World Series and in all seriousness that was not who I was rooting for. They won after a terrible season the year before. But that's not why I gave Boston the win in this category. The city of Boston wins because of the terrible terrorist attack and how they responded to it. Even though I am not a fan of the city, I support them through this tragedy and I know no one from there will acknowledge this from the city but stay #bostonstrong (first hashtag in any blog).
Loser of the Year: Pacman Jones. Yes I am a fan of this guy. I feel like he truly rehabilitated his life and he's just in the wrong place at the wrong time sometimes. But I can never defend violence against women. He hit a woman who was screaming at him. I don't care what she said, it is never okay to hit a female and that's what he did.
Man of the Year: Pope Francis because he is bringing a swagger and a new attitude into the Catholic faith and is actually changing a lot of things for the good and bringing the Catholic faith into the new millennium. Finally.
Woman of the Year: Jennifer Lawrence. She took Hollywood by storm with her cute but sexy smile and her ability to actually act. We all know her as Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games but she showed incredible performances in Silver Linings Playbook and American Hustle (which is what I'm told as I haven't seen it yet).
Quote of the Year: “You guys are just standing up because you feel bad that I fell, and that’s really embarrassing, but thank you.”-Jennifer Lawrence after she won best actress at the Oscar's.
Song of the Year: Royals by Lorde. Just 16, this Australian star burst on to the scene with this hip new sound and took America by storm.
Joke of the year: I was accused of being sexist several times. You can read about it here. http://davidbrooks1985.blogspot.com/2013/05/sexism.html I will never back down from my chivalrous ways or call myself sexist for believing in them.
Underachieving Team of the Year: The Cincinnati Reds. They really struggled down the stretch and had no sense of urgency or team unity as they failed to win the one game playoff against the Pirates and ultimately got Dusty fired.
Ginger of the Year: Andy Dalton. Why does he win this? Well he broke the Bengals' passing yardage and touchdown record, all the while leading the Bengals to their 3rd straight playoffs. There tends to be a good Andy and a bad Andy as they played this year and as Dalton goes the Bengals will go this playoffs. I can't think of any other gingers who could win this as Yukon Cornelius has been missing in films since the 1960's.
Most changed since Last Year: Miley Cyrus. Is this even debatable? And who didn't see it coming? Child star wanting to rebel from Dad and apparently sticking your tongue out is rebelling? Well anyway, I'm of the belief that it's all an act, because it's working and she's selling a bunch of records. It's hard to transition into the adult industry after being a child, ask ginger Danny Bonaduce who will never win the above award.
Goodbyes in 2013: Paul Walker: Died in a car crash. There will be no more making fun of him. He deserved an Oscar for his role in Joy Ride. Not really. He's no Daniel Day Lewis but he is Paul Walker and it is sad that he is gone as the Fast and Furious series will not be the same. And since most of my viewers are ladies, see below. Just don't think about him being dead or that's just awkward.
Chris Kelly AKA Mac Daddy of Kriss-Kross. We've all jumped to them. and we all owe him a tribute as he died this year. He is miggidy miggidy miggidy macing in heaven.
Thomas Howard: Former Bengals linebacker passed also in a car crash. He was going over 100. Don't speed.
Nelson Mandela: RIP to the man who changed a nation when all hope would have been lost by a weaker man. He beat apartheid and saved South Africa and brought together the most racist nation of the 20th Century.
Corey Monteith: Glee actor who died of a drug overdose. I did enjoy the first season of Glee and then it started going downhill
Mindy Mcready: The troubled country singer died of a suicide. She had her whole life ahead of her and was on top of the world in the 90's.
Tomorrow marks Thanksgiving and I am thankful for a lot of things. I am thankful for beginning to take care of myself. Things got scary for a minute but I truly believe everything happens for a reason so maybe my neuropathy actually came as a warning to begin to take care of myself. I am thankful to feel better. I still have some bad days but mostly good. I am thankful to my wonderful mother for helping me get through this. She won't read this because I banned her from reading my blogs so I'm sure she will hear from word of mouth. I don't tell them enough, but thank you to my sisters for putting up with my shenanigans this year and helping me through my medical issues. My dad is also very important in my life and without him I wouldn't be the man I am today, even though I still can't beat the guy in mercy and he lets me know. He is the most intimidating sweet person I know and that makes him super cool.
I am thankful for my readers. You all have seen my moods all over the map, mostly dry humor and sarcasm, but lately sad and angry posts. This is my journal sometimes and I make it public so maybe I can make someone laugh here and there or help one person in some way. I also like the attention and I like to share my writing talent. I love every single one of you even the haters, because you improve my blog stats. And here's a little bit of a shuffle because I'm so happy you read!
I am also thankful for teachers sleeping with students because the blog I wrote on that subject became #1. Here's the blog: Teachers and Sex Scandals Obviously that's my sarcasm coming in. This is becoming a bigger and bigger problem in schools and I believe the cougar thing that is big now among teens and that along with teachers being super horny, and some teachers stuck in the still wanting to be in high school and those wanting more than what their marriage brings is a perfect recipe for these stories to pop up. I'm not blaming either side. I'm blaming society and the world we live in. You can't make a teacher go look like the sub in Miss Nelson in Missing. That's not fair to them. Yes I just referenced a children's book. I took Children's Lit in college for a 300 level elective and I was the only male in that class which was horrible because I got called on every day because the teacher knew my name immediately.
I'm thankful for Arnold Schwartzanegger (doubt I spelled it right), and Samuel L. Jackson. I'm thankful for being myself and being as patient as I am. I'm thankful for my friends. Without them I wouldn't have made it through the tough times. From the many fights about my blood sugars with Nic, to the partying at Bubba's. Even the talks with Elyse about my life at work. Mindy saving me on the day I forgot my pump. April being there whenever I need to talk. Wow so many friends I owe a thank you to: Brad and Laura during the Halloween party for being with my while I was down, and so many more I'm leaving off but thank you all for being there and your prayers because without all of you I wouldn't be here and that's a fact. I don't sweat the little things, and I let a lot of things go because I see the big picture and this beautiful life we are all blessed with so do something with it. Make a difference. Be a good person even when all of the odds are against you. I will stop being philosophical now and get back to it: I'm thankful for the discovery of cheese, or the invention of cheese. I don't know what is considered to be the correct way of putting it and I'm too lazy to look it up. I'm thankful for being cheesy. I'm thankful for French Toast and movies that you don't want to end. I'm thankful to have a job, and a roof over my head. I'm thankful to make someone smile every day and I'm thankful that I'm here. I'm thankful for God giving me a white beard. I was never able to grow a blond beard, even in my peach fuzz days. It's always came in white and that's cool. I'm thankful for the way Breaking Bad ended. It could have been better, but I'm glad it went out on it's own terms and didn't come to a slow death like ER or Grey's Anatomy.
I'm thankful for 25 cent wings after midnight at Applebee's even though sometimes they are super slow. I will never a few weeks ago a few friends of mine, Justin, Jeni, Laura, Brad, and I went for the wings. First of all I had to sit on the end chair which no one wants and I'm a big guy but I was the 5th wheel so I guess that's fine but it took forever to even order and then even longer to get the wings. It used to be a big secret and there'd only be a few tables at midnight. Then high schoolers learned about it and overtook Applebee's like the Swine Flu was supposed to take over America but never did. Well during this time I hash tagged everything Jeni was wearing. I kept doing the "hash tag hoodie, hash tag PalmBeach, hash tag, pony tail," and doing the hand gestures like Jimmy Fallon and JT's segment on the Jimmy Fallon late night show which I don't know which one he's on anymore and I don't feel like looking it up.
Anyway, at Applebee's the waiter seemed to get Jeni a drink so fast it seemed he lifted his armpit up and squirted her strawberry lemonade out of the pitted area. Anyway I said "hash tag shhhhhhhhhhhh" and did an arm movement simulating drink coming out of my pit and everyone died laughing. I know it doesn't translate well in writing but it was funny. I'm thankful for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation and Raisin Bran Crunch. I'm thankful for pasta and elevators so I don't have to walk 20 stories. I'm not gay but I'm thankful that those who want to be can live the way they want to and they shouldn't be judged for it. I believe they should be allowed to get married. I'm a republican and I am saying that. I'm thankful for cranberry sauce on Thanksgiving because its really the only time I eat it and I'm not really thankful it comes out looking like the can but I'm thankful I get to eat it because some poor people unfortunately aren't as lucky as I am to eat such a meal tomorrow. I'm thankful for not judging anyone and living in a world that I can live with freedoms although I still believe we should only have to put on our seatbelt under our own free will. UGH, I'm still mad about that. And that my friends is the first time I've used ugh on a blog. I'm thankful for The Temptations and Notorious BIG; They are the two artists I turn to when I need some chill out in my life. I'm thankful for football, even Andy Dalton. He doesn't need to be Tom Brady on this team. He just needs to stop throwing picks. I'm thankful for Bronson Arroyo. I believe he deserves to be in The Reds Hall of Fame when he retires. He played on good Reds teams and bad but ultimately he never missed a start in the 9 years or whatever he was on the team and he was consistent. You knew what you were going to get out of him.
I'm thankful for John Calipari and his amazing recruiting classes, restoring UK to where they should be. I'm thankful for technology and the improvement of cell phones and laptops and ipads so fast I am always outdated. That makes me seem retro fast which is cool. I'm thankful that TMNT is back to being popular among kids. I'm thankful for NKU going D1 and snapchat. I don't know why I use it but I do. I'm thankful for the sun not blowing up on us, and days when the humidity isn't high. I'm thankful for Chinese buffets and there being a Chipotle on every corner. I'm thankful for being me and I'm tired of writing so I'm going to stop there. I will not be doing Black Friday, not only because its hypocritical of being thankful one day only to turn around and punch someone for a crappy stereo the next, but also because I'm cool with spending 10 extra bucks to not have to wait in line. I may hit up the 50% off everything at Old Navy though. I need some new work clothes. My pants are shredding, and ladies as much as you'd like to see that, it is not work appropriate.
Winner of the Day: Us. Be thankful for the life you have and don't sweat the small stuff. The greatest gift of all is life so be thankful for it. Live the way you want. Gosh I'm sounding like a damn hippie but I'm being real. You don't have long on this earth so live while you are here and be thankful for what you have. It's better than the alternative. If you are reading this you have internet, so your life can't be that bad, unless you bored yourself to death reading this but if you have you probably haven't read this far.
Loser of the Day: Us. We have been tricked in our history books about Thanksgiving. The first Thanksgiving has one surviving letter about it and it says nothing about them for sure having turkey. The Pilgrims also were firing guns which lead to the Indians coming to investigate. Then they let them sit in. They weren't actually guests but because the Indians helped the Pilgrims make it through the first harsh winter they kind of felt obligated to let them eat the huge feast. The hisory books make it more of a legend that we want to believe.
Quote of the Day: “In 1492, the natives discovered they were indians, discovered they lived in America, discovered they were naked, discovered that the Sin existed, discovered they owed allegiance to a King and Kingdom from another world and a God from another sky, and that this God had invented the guilty and the dress, and had sent to be burnt alive who worships the Sun the Moon the Earth and the Rain that wets it.” ― Eduardo Galeano
In light of me retrieving my Myspace blogs and in the spirit of Throwback Thursday, here is one of my excerpts that I re-read and it helped me to get through these tough times I'm having with my hands and my feet. I'm almost positive I have peripheral neuropathy. At least my endocrinologist believes it to be. It is common in diabetics and it just makes my life miserable. It makes me feel tingling and pain in my hands and my feet. I haven't written down these feelings at all and I have kept how I feel from most people. Friday night I had a breakdown about it and I knew then that I have to spill out what I have been going through (Thanks to Laura Brungs, Brad McIntosh, Devan Daily, and Nicolette for helping me through that time). I put a smile on my face everyday and I am doing my best to not let it affect my everyday life, but I am not going to lie, it's been in the back of my mind every moment since August. I am on meds that are calming my nerves and tomorrow I will be learning a lot more about it at my appointment. I am not going to lie, I'm scared. I'm not the type to seek pity from anyone. I don't like talking about my problems or diseases and I certainly don't want people to treat me any different for them. I just wanted to write this because this is my journal. You guys have lived with me through the good times and bad while reading my words so I have no problem sharing this with you. If I have treated you any worse in the last few months and you thought I wasn't myself, this is why. It has driven me from being able to do things I enjoy doing but I still play volleyball but it just hurts more after. I have had pain in these three months more than I have had since I first got diagnosed with diabetes in 1997. It has driven me to tears several times and through it all I smile through the tears, because I want no one else to be affected by my issues and I just want my family and friends to get the same old me who cheers everyone else up. I love and appreciate you all and I want you to know that I am going to beat this bastard body of mine and I will still be there to be the friend I am to all of you. Please don't show me mercy. I don't like that. I just thought you all should know and it feels better already writing it down on paper. Yeah I'm scared, but I made an oath to myself to take care of myself and I want to be here a long time and I will be. I'm stronger than all you guys give me credit for I just hide what I'm truly fighting. I have only shared this with a few people until now and it feels like a relief to announce it this way. Don't treat me any differently please. That just makes me sad. And for some reason I'm tearing up writing this... What the Hell? Now for what you've all been waiting for. The Throwback Thursday part of the blog that inspired this blog. Sorry I wasn't a very good blogger back then. I've definitely improved.
Peace
Now to my throwback blog from 1/24/2007-Written on Myspace
Straight Up Thoughts
What's up people? I haven't just talked to you
guys in quite some time. I've been hiding behind awards, and Pat Diesel, and
anything else, but here goes some straight talk.
I've been sitting here
thinking... What is my purpose in life? Everyone has a purpose I just don't
know what mine is yet.
Also, why do people go through life just being
mad all the time? At the beginning of the summer, when I became single, I made
a vowel to never get mad. For the most part that's been the case, I haven't
been really that mad. The only thing that has pushed me through the edge from
now and then was the Bengals loss to the Steelers on New Years Eve, and I fixed
that with tequila that night.
Another thing, why does the world have to
be such a rough place? Why does life happen to us why we are busy making other
plans... Why are we always working? Why not sit back and enjoy life every once
in a while. I do and it feels great. It makes me forget about my diabetes and
it makes me think of only good things.
Why is school getting less and
less entertaining. I've been there so long. I'm getting tired of it. I've
been going since I was 5 years old. I'm 21 now soon to be 22.
What is
the point of life? Is it to be happy? to have fun? to feel like you meant
something? Why isn't everyone doing that? Whether you dont have a dime or have
18 million bucks it shouldnt matter. Money is not happiness... Just live your
life and be happy.
That's the problem I see with the social landscape
today.
Winner of the Day: Juvenile Diabetics. Yes all of you out there. Jonathan Stefanopoulos, Devan Dailey, That one Jonas Brother, Jay Cutler, The lead singer of Poison, Pfieff Dogg from my favorite Rap Group A Tribe Called Quest, Jay Leeuinburg, and anyone I forgot to mention. Dude I get you all, and no matter how much you try man, no one else gets it but us. This month is Diabetes Awareness month and we have one month to give ourselves pats on the back, unfortunately it follows Breast Cancer Awareness month, but this small blog is to give all of you out there with type 1 diabetes a voice and that I know how tough the grind is every day. Keep grinding all of you!
Quote of the Day: God has brought you to it and he will bring you through it.-unknown
A Facebook Status I wrote at the beginning of the month:
Song of the Day: Tracks of My Tears by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
I'm happy for what I have and I never let myself be down for too long. Just because a few things in life aren't going my way doesn't not change who I am nor will I let it affect others. Be thankful for what you have. Life is great. Don't let any one thing bring you down. Don't spread the negativity to others. Stay positive people. I almost lost an eye and got diagnosed with Peripheral neuropathy related to diabetes in the same week recently and I still keep a smile on my face. Life isn't all that bad people. Don't sweat little things and don't bring others down because you're miserable. It doesn't have to be that way. Thank you to the higher power for giving me this fortunate life I have with an amazing family and wonderful friends who are a support system to me. All that's missing is that special woman but she will come. I have a job I am thankful for. I eat everyday, sometimes too many calories. I try to do what's right and be the best person I can be. I don't hate. I am an honest person and thank The Lord every day for all that you made me. I am a patient person and that is tested every day. But overall I'm thankful. Please take this as a lesson when you're having a bad day, be thankful for what you have.
So this week started with the Bengals losing to the Browns. They looked more like the 2002 Bengals instead of the team that knocked off Green Bay just one day earlier.
Just as that tragedy was being written in Cleveland, the Reds were busy getting swept by the Pirates, the same team they would be playing in Tuesday's wildcard playoff game. They didn't seem excited nor did they look like they played with any sense of urgency. They would later fall to the pirates in that playoff game. They played, it seemed with no enthusiasm or heart and it was more of a slow death rather than the shocker that happened in last year's playoffs. The sad part of the game was that the big money players (i.e. Phillips, Bruce, and Votto) played with what seemed like no heart.
Congratulations though to the Pirates who earned it and their fans deserved it except that one kept punching Mat Latos' wife in the back of the head which is a shame.
Let's go back to Sunday. One of my top five shows of all time went off the air, Breaking Bad. The writing on that show was spectacular and the characterization, acting and directing was second to none. Vince Gilligan, the creator's premise was to turn Mr. Chipps into Scarface and that he did over five amazing seasons. He went out on top and on his own terms which is rare for any show. The ending did solve things which is better than any 'fade to black' ending and I definitely appreciated although the final episode would not make my top 5 episodes of the show. I am still in mourning over the show going off the air. I will be sad to see it go and I'm not sure there's anything on right now that compares other than maybe Mad Men.
Yes that is an original drawing by me with the iconic sketch from the show that I drew to the best of my abilities. As you all know my talent is writing and not drawing but that is my first career self portrait and some say I look like a love child of Hank Hill and Boomhower from King of the Hill but I believe I look pretty sexy if I do say so myself.
Anyway, I apologize that you had to get through all that boring stuff to get to what I wanted to write about I don't normally bury the lead but I wanted you to feel all the buildup of this terrible week to get to what happened today which is a ridiculous story that may be entertaining to you so I thought I'd share it. Well for about a week or so I've been nursing a red eye. Well it was sort of in both eyes so I attributed to allergies. My doctor had me taking this over the counter allergy medicine for eyes and Zyrtec. Well I was actually taking Kroger brand Zyrtec because for some reason real Zyrtec is through the roof expensive. All medicine costs too much so don't even get me started on that. Anyway it wasn't really cleaning up my eye. It kept getting worse until it became bloodshot red. People have been asking me to get it checked out like coworkers Mindy and Mitch so finally I went to the nurse at work. Turns out I have this rare form of pink eye which in my case should be called bloodshot red eye which is highly contagious. Anyway they send me home from work and I drive to Kroger to get my prescriptions. I decided to go through the drive-thru. First of all, the car in front of me was pulled into the drive-thru backwards. What the hell right? So I waited a mile away so they could pull out so I can pull in the right way. I know, I know. That's what she said. I finally get pulled in there and the lady said they only had my antibiotic and not my eye gel. Please don't call it a gel lady because that sounds nasty. I prefer drops. Well they said they'd have it tomorrow. I was thinking to myself "lady can't you see my eye is redder than the inside of the sun. I need it now!" I ask her to see if any other Kroger in the area has it. The Kroger in Newport has the drug. Thank God. I couldn't get off my high horse yet though. The prescription is $47. She said that she just wanted to let me know. Well thanks lady. I could go buy a video game with that kind of coin and you say it as "oh by the way." I told her I'd call and see if my doctor had any alternatives. She then preceded to check me out with the antibiotic which was only $4. She sent me a slip to sign and I go to put my debit card and Kroger card into the tube and bam I forgot to put my car in park so I moved up some. My hand held onto the Kroger card but not my debit card. By now there is a car behind me waiting to go. I have to put the car in park and get on my hands and knees looking for this card. I, embarrassingly tell the woman I lost my card. After looking for it I noticed it had fallen into this slot on this tube machine that is impossible to get anything from. The employee and her manager brought brooms and flyswaters out to try and get it, but failed. I then, with my highly contagious eye, go into 5/3 bank to cancel my card, which was stolen two weeks prior and I just got, and ask for a new one. I then go to the pharmacy and ask for them to just get my $47 prescription filled at Kroger because I'm over dealing with all of it. So that is how my week has gone and it is only Wednesday that's not even mentioning the lingering pain and nerve problems I've been having in my hands and feet. I'm still keeping a smile though and I hope this ridiculous story made some if you laugh. Beware I'm posting my eye next but in order to get to the "of the day" section you will have to scroll past it.
Winner of the Day: The I Phone 5. I usually write these things at work but since I got sent home and my damn computer is cracked I wrote this whole thing on the Blogger app which doesn't have as many features but it got the job done!!
Loser of the Day: Obamaphone. Until my sister Laura brought Obamaphone up yesterday I did not know it existed. I could talk about government shutdown and Obamacare and all that. I have opinions but it is best I keep them to myself. Obamaphone however is crazy. They give people on welfare a cell phone and a plan. These people aren't getting the Jitterbug which is what they should be getting if this plan exists with basic features. They're getting IPhones which I'm paying an arm and a leg for and now I'm paying for theirs.
Quote of the day:
Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Song of the Day: "Fly Away" by Nelly--look it up on YouTube. I have no idea how to post it on this app.
I was in Bob Runyan's homeroom 12 years ago today when I first heard what was going on. I saw he was nervous flipping through channels on the television and I thought Al Queda just bombed another embassy or something and then I saw The Trade Center in NYC smoking.
Then he received a call, flipped to NBC and said, "They hit the Pentagon too." That's when I realized the Trade Center wasn't an accident and we were being attacked. It was one of the scariest days of my life. Coverage on every station from ESPN to Cartoon Network. I remember the sights of people jumping out of buildings, ash flooding the streets of New York City.
I remember wondering who would do such a thing. I remember the police and firefighters doing what they could to save as many lives as possible sometimes sacrificing their own life. I remember George W. Bush in an elementary school addressing the situation.
The terrorists took 2,977 lives on 9/11/01 and today is a day to remember those who perished, but also to let other countries know we persevered and we are still strong. This did not crush our country. The United States stood strong and fought back, ultimately catching Osama Bin Laden. Thank you to all of the service men and women who defended our country in light of the attacks and we will never forget 9/11/01 just like Pearl Harbor before. Stand strong. I'm proud to be an American. We won't let those who hate that we are a free country bring us down.
Deaths by Area of Attack
Deaths
World Trade Center
2,606
Airlines
246
Pentagon Building
125
Hijackers
19
Total number of people who died in the 9/11 attacks
2,996
Casualties in the World Trade Center and Surrounding Area
Deaths
Residents of New York
1,762
Persons in North Tower (Tower 1)
1,402
Persons in South Tower (Tower 2)
614
Residents of New Jersey
674
Employees of Marsh Inc.
355
Firefighters
343
Employees of Aon Corporation
175
Port Authority police officers
37
Police officers
23
Paramedics
2
1 firefighter was killed by a man who jumped off the top floors
Casualties on the Airplanes
Deaths
American Airlines Flight 11 (North Tower)
87
United Airlines Flight 175 (South Tower)
60
American Airlines Flight 77 (Pentagon)
59
United Flight 93 (Shanksville, PA)
40
Casualties inside the Pentagon
Deaths
Military and civilian deaths
125
(Courtesy http://www.statisticbrain.com/911-death-statistics/) As I sit here, working in Cincinnati's largest tower, I feel safe. I feel like that because of our military and the safety measures airports take now. The next time you complain about the way TSA handles things, remember why they are doing it, to protect you. Freedom isn't always free and I'm willing to wait a little longer and even get stripped searched if it guarantees my plane isn't going to get hijacked and slammed into a building. Quote of the Day: "We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail."-President George W. Bush after the 9/11 attacks.
Song of the Day: Have you Forgotten by Darryl Worley
After a long time of not writing a Relationship Advice column, I thought I'd bring it back and clear off the cobwebs. I proposed it to facebook and the first person to respond asked me this:
The Cheater AKA The Hypocrite
The Question: I need advice on something.... How do you forget about someone you care so much for, but doesn't care about you?
The Background: Ok. I was kinda
seeing this guy. The one I told you about from pof. I have been seeing him
since October. So, we said we were dating and he ended sleeping with someone
else and lied to me about then eventually told me about it ( after sleeping
with me first!!!) So, then we made an agreement that we would be together but
see other people, but only one other person besides us two. Well, one night he
came home with me and while I was passed out he went through my phone and
didn't like what he saw. Now, he acts like we never had anything. I have done
so much for him its not even funny and I care for him so much it hurts. I just
can't do it anymore, its emotionally breaking me down.
This is a picture off of Google and not the actual subject of this column.
My Advice:Wow, yeah that is deep.
The lying in the beginning for him is a big deal because he waited to tell you
after he slept with you. I mean early on in relationships people tend to paint
themselves in another light to make themselves seem better than they really
are. It's natural everyone does it. I read somewhere like 85% of people lie
about something in their first ten minutes of the first date. If you think
about it, it's kind of like how you make yourself look good in a job interview.
You fix yourself up, you only bring up good things about yourself, and on job
interview day, you are the best person you can possibly be even if it is a
little skewed from your true self.
With that being said, he didn't lie to you on
your first date, he lied to you until after you made whoopie with the dude. I
think that is worse. He is like a lot of men and don't realize how important
that step is. It attaches a women to him at a different level than they ever
were before. In this case I almost feel like he waited to tell you to have you
attached enough that you would agree to stay rather than break off the
relationship. He got what he wanted; to still have you but also to have someone
else which is disaster waiting to happen. No matter how much you tell yourself
you don't care (and this obviously happened with him) jealousy does creep up
and it will cause tension in the relationship and ultimately lead to its
demise, which is what happened in this one when he went through your phone. You may have put a lot of hours into this but honestly, I think you never fully got him back when he cheated on you.
He may have felt guilty and that's why he told you or maybe it was because he wanted to gain your trust back. Either way, it didn't make up for his betrayal. Being in an open relationship is difficult mostly for the reason of jealousy. It is always boiling inside, especially if you do so much for someone and they are off with another girl. That is hurtful, and he was being very hypocritical to you by leaving you after seeing your
phone. That's why open relationships struggle because no one is ever on the
same page. Now you are an emotional wreck, and you can't get him off your mind, which can kind of be attributed to the theory of you want what you can't have.
You've been fighting for this man since the
cheating phase of the relationship. It takes time to stop having feelings for
someone. As I stated many times, it takes about half of the amount of time to
get over someone as the relationship lasts. So you still have time that you
will be hurt. You must cope though, and learn from what happened. You should realize that it wasn't a waste of time and pick up the pieces. Honestly, as a woman, you deserve better than what he was giving you and there are better men out there willing to take your hand. The pieces of your heart, can and will be put back together. You don't even need all the kings horses and men to do so.
You just need to believe in yourself and move on. I think it is best for both
parties. I feel like if you continue on with him, and he ultimately accepts you
back, the relationship will get more and more miserable, and the point of life
and relationships is happiness, and if sadness and anger outweigh the
happiness, it's unfortunately time to move on.
Her response: Trust me, I
agree with you 100% its just so hard to try and move on because my feelings are
all still there and won't go away. Plus, I know he is seeing someone else and
that just hurts and pisses me off, because we had such good times together and
now he is just throwing that all away. I mean damn, I forgave him when he
fucked up.
My advice: I know he does
need to realize all you went through to keep him and the fact he's with someone
else makes it all the more hard. It makes you think, what the hell? Why wasn't
I good enough? When in reality, he's not good enough for you. The fun times are
hard to forget and you shouldn't. After all, they were an amazing part of your
life, and I understand the feelings are still there and are strong, but with
that being said, it's like worrying. There's no point in worrying because it
doesn't make anything better. There's no point in thinking about him, because
it won't make it better. Somewhere the feelings were lost on his end and it
takes two. I know it's hard to believe now, but the feelings will definitely go
away. You will get back on your feet. That is a promise. It's never easy to
part with someone you felt so close to. It seems like it will take an eternity,
but sooner than you believe things will get better and he will simply be your
past.
Her response: Yea, and I
know he needs to be my past, but honestly I don't want him to. I just want
things back to the way they were.
My Advice: I
unfortunately don't think they ever will. Sometimes what you want and what you
need are two different things. There is life out there beyond him and you need
to be strong.
Her response: Thank you
so much David. You have really made me feel better, I know you are right and
from this point on right now, I'm going to start being strong.
My conclusion: you're
welcome, I’ve been through having to move on before and it was never easy
especially for someone you have super strong feelings for. They will still
creep in the back of your mind but once you meet the right guy, those will stop
and you will forget all about this dude.
Another person also asked me for advice and it was a completely different situation than the previous one.
A Blast from the Past
The Situation: A man who was broken up with sent flowers a month later to the woman who broke up with him, proclaiming on the card that he had been thinking about her every moment of the past month, waiting on her to come back. The man also sent her a text saying, "hi." The thing is this guy was instructed not to contact this woman until she contacted him first. He agreed and had gone a month until last night when the flowers and text were sent. There is a new man in this woman's life and she assumed the flowers were from him and they ended up being from this guy from earlier. What should she do. For purposes of confidentiality, we will call the man Woody and we will call the woman Bo Peep.
Background: Woody was someone who Bo Peep met on a dating website. The first few dates were amazing and they hit it off well. Then life got in the way. Both were busy with work and Woody didn't make much time to get with Bo Peep. Bo Peep then kind of lost interest. Woody was off hanging with his best girlfriend and ex-girlfriend. Bo Peep didn't like this much so she basically told him it was over. Woody then got really creepy and started trying really hard to win Bo Peep back. Bo Peep wasn't having it. She ignored him more and more. Woody showed up at Bo Peeps house after sending flowers, but Bo Peep wasn't home. He would buy her item after item and try and get her to go on more dates. He also said in a card that there would be rough times and they can fight through it. They only have been dating for a small time and this card was for like a longer termed relationship. Anyway, Bo Peep finally met up with him and talked him into backing off, and said she would make first contact, which brings us to now.
My advice: Bo Peep should not respond. There is no need to open this can of worms. The guy, although sweet kind of seems creepy with the fact that he's been thinking of her all month. Some may say that's true love, but it does take two and the ship sailed on Bo Peep long ago. I feel like she shouldn't even talk to the guy because it gives him false hope and she is happy with this new guy so far and she shouldn't screw that up. Although it was a nice gesture, he needs to come to the realization it is the past and he needs to let it go. He didn't take the nice hints so sometimes it's best to take the harder way.
Winner of the Day: The people who checked this paper.
Loser of the Day: Riley Cooper of the Eagles. He used the "N" word saying he will fight every "N" here at a concert. It's the digital era Riley!!! Of course that will be taped by someone. Now all your teammates and all of the league want your head and I don't blame them. You ruined your image.
Quote of the Day: "All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy."
I graduated from Bellevue High School back in 2003. It has been ten years since I walked out of the building for the last time as a student. In those ten years since my departure, Bellevue has been in the news twice for student-teacher sexual misconduct. Bellevue is a small town. Pretty much everyone knows everyone, meaning everyone knows everyone else's business. My graduating class had 47 students which is pretty small for a public school. In this small environment, one develops tight relationships with most everyone in the school. There aren't really clicks. The jock and the nerd in many instances are friends in a school like Bellevue. I hung with many different people in my time in Bellevue and knew pretty much everyone in the whole school. I know the teachers did too. I had close relationships with some of the teachers there. Not inappropriate by any means, but I feel the teachers feel a tighter bond with students at a school like Bellevue. There were some attractive teachers in my day. I mean one was a Ben-gal cheerleader. It seemed every year the Home-Ec teacher got hotter and hotter. For some reason they only stayed a year which confused me. Guys would make flirtatious comments to the attractive teachers from time to time, but none of them were serious. I mean I went to high school right after the Mary Kay Letourneu news story broke. Mary Kay was Vili Fualaau's 6th grade teacher when she started having an affair with him. Mary was married and had a family. This didn't stop her from doing what she did with the student she met when he was just a 2nd grader. I remember watching the made for TV movie on USA and it was something that just memorizes you into viewing. It's an intriguing story. I mean I'm sure all guys in this world have fantasized about being with a female teacher. If a male teacher, does this to a girl, it's creepy. When it's a woman who does it with a male student, it is hypnotizing. Mary was an attractive teacher with a home, a family, and she taught which is what she loved doing. She threw it all away for a 6th grader. Why do these women do this and what fascinates the public so much about cases such as this?
Mary Kay Letourneu
Bellevue's most recent scandal involves Sally Wyatt who is being accused of having inappropriate relations with one of her former students. She's a 25 year old graduate of Morehead State. She almost could pass as one of the students. She doesn't look any older than the student she is accused of having relations with. She coached cheerleading (by the way is cheerleading a sport? I guess so if people were getting bars for it), and track. The student was on her track squad. From what I hear, the student was asked to be a summer "running partner" with Mrs. Wyatt, notice the Mrs. instead of Ms. She is married to her high school sweetheart. Anyway, apparently a girlfriend of the student uncovered texts between Wyatt and the student and of course. Wyatt then resigned and Twitter/facebook began blowing up. The boy's facebook page was littered with "you're a legend" and more compliments.
Sally Wyatt
Sally was the perfect recipe for someone who could get trapped in this web. She was a beautiful teacher who looked no older than the students. I'm sure boys were hitting on her constantly. She was in her own relationship since high school and never got to explore being single. She was most likely pretty popular in high school and wanted to relive the old days. She may have wanted to feel control over someone younger. Her mistake was giving out her number. You can't do that. She may have done it innocently enough, but I believe you have to know personal things will be talked about. That can't be done. She's got to be the adult. None of this is okay. Sarah Jones ended up staying with the student she had relations with and so did Letourneu. We don't know what the future holds for Wyatt but I doubt the husband will take her back nor should he. All the adolescent boys find it to be a game, and if you get the teacher then you win and apparently you're worshiped. They don't weigh the consequences of the lives they may be affecting by having this affair. That's why all the responsibility needs to go on Wyatt. She may never teach again. She may have to rework her way up in a new career like the other Bellevue teacher involved in one of these. Teachers need to draw a line. I know it's a lot different and harder now with social media but don't get in the profession if you don't think you can handle it. I do feel some sympathy for attractive teachers in the profession though, because they are constantly getting flirted with and guys are constantly trying to get with them, but you need the mental will power to handle it.
The previous Bellevue teacher wasn't very attractive and I believe hers was to try to live high school the way she wished it had gone the first time. She would have parties with the popular kids and things like that and that shows me that she wanted to relive those days. I've come to the conclusion that it just takes one reason for these ladies to do what they do. Letourneu was the gate opener and now with social media it has become easier and more commonplace for these women to interact with students. They need to be more careful. These boys are horny and young and they can lure these women in especially if they are tired and bored of their lives, trying to relive their younger days, or trying to live a new past. Sometimes the women can be predators like Nicole Howell who would invite kids from Bellevue to her bar to flirt and ultimately got in trouble for some things that happened in Dayton, and some could be prey like Andrea Conners from Highlands who I believe boys talked her into crossing the line.
Andrea Conners
Either way, the adult HAS to be the adult. You have to stop it and never even tow with the line. These women look ridiculous and the sad part is many of them are married. I suggest that they doll down and don't require them to wear makeup and try to look attractive to the students. I know that's impossible but I think I remember hearing in the Conners case that she started dressing up more and more for school when she started developing feelings for this boy.
The reason this is all intriguing to us as a public is that it involves women and men all have had that fantasy as a kid (It's intriguing in the way that the movie The Graduate is intriguing where Dustin Hoffman is getting seduced by a much older women).
The Graduate
I believe it also is so shocking but it's kind of becoming more and more common that when you see an attractive teacher you almost expect to see her on the news in a few years. It's sad that the world has come to that. Educators should be educators and nothing more. To me, school has changed a lot since I went 10 years ago. Every kid has a cell phone and they are learning on IPads. Myspace didn't even exist and we weren't sleeping with our teachers. I blame the system, technology, and most of all the women who do it. Some to feel young again, and some to feel wanted again. Whatever the reason I blame them.
Winner of the Day: The Dinosaurs, because they left when they were on top and didn't stick around long enough to see our world go through the craziness that it is now.
Loser of the Day: Ryan Braun. The guy lied about taking steroids, basically claimed he was screwed over by the system and animatedly stated he was wrongfully accused and ruined another man's life then takes a deal and admits he took them all along. This guy is lower than dirt, almost as bad if not worse than Lance Armstrong.
Qute of the Day:"Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety. Other women cloy the appetites they feed, but she makes hungry where most she satisfies."-William Shakespeare Song of the Day: Mrs. Robinson by Simon and Garfunkel
Goosebumps book of the Day: The Abonible Snowman of Pasadena
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