Don't Call It A Comeback, Top 5 Celebrities that will make your Christmas Party More Eventful

I have blogged off and on since way back in 2005 on Myspace. I came across some of my old posts today, from those old blogs and thought I'd dust off the old keys on this laptop and write a bit. David's Brain, the V.I.P. section hit it's peak in 2011 when I wrote almost daily. I would come on here off and on to talk about sports, write my own lyrics to popular songs or bring awareness to type one diabetes. Since 2011, I've somehow gotten over 32,000 views with no real topic for my posts.  

If your only outlet to this world is reading my blogs, then I am sorry I haven't had a post since April 26, 2017 and that was a tiny blog about ESPN Layoffs. There are broken links, pictures and gifs throughout my blogs, but I don't think they change the points of the blogs I used to write. I want to start keeping up with this regularly again. I may bring back my winners and losers of the day as that was a popular section of my blogs.  I would also do top 5 lists which I want to bring back starting today. To get back into the groove, let's do a top 5. Today, I am going to do:

 Top 5 Celebrities Who Would Make Your Christmas Party More Eventful

Honorable Mentions

Charlie Sheen

I didn't say it was going to be legal. Just eventful.  Can you imagine doing white elephant with this guy in your circle? You could open the gift and it could be a hooker or a block of cocaine.

Deion Sanders

When I was growing up, this man could do no wrong.  He was good and he'd tell you he was too. He would high step right into your party and make you dance to Christmas Rappin' by Kurtis Blow.

Top Five

5. Guy Fieri

If you know me, you know it is in my mind Guy Fieri is a partying machine.  I once had a friend that no matter what you did when you went out with him, it would be one of the craziest nights of your life. That's what it would be like if your Christmas Party went to Flavortown. Fieri would tell his cheesy one line jokes while slamming your egg nog and stealing your girl. 

4. Miley Cyrus

Eventful is not always a good thing. As I think Guy would be a trip, Miley coming to your party would be a trip... to the ER. She does all of this for attention and she is the cliche child star head case, girl was known to throw it down at parties. She'd come in like a wrecking ball and "do what she wants." Chestnuts won't be the only nuts roasting on an open fire if you invite Miley.

3. Justin Bieber

I'd be lying if I didn't used to think this kid was a douchebag who did bad things just to be the cool kid. I think he egged Keyshaun Johnson's house or something like that, and I know he's been busted for street races, and I know he's been a jackass and the butt of many jokes but I actually think he'd be fun to have a Christmas party with. I could see myself now trying to do the Ludacris part from "Baby" with my wife looking at me like, "Dave, don't embarrass me in front of the Biebs like that."

2. Ocho Cinco

Okay, I'm kind of being a homer here, but here me out (or really read me out). This guy single handedly brought fun back to being a Bengals fan.  He made it fun. If he can make a stale team with a stale owner cool, what could this man do for your Christmas party? On the 5th day of Christmas Ocho would bring you Five Golden Teeth. He wouldn't take anything too seriously and he would be cool if you catered McDonald's. No need to get fancy with him. You doubt this decision? Child please.

1. Tommy Wiseau

So this guy is still Hollywood's biggest mystery. They made a movie about him because he made the worst movie ever made. He spent millions on making "The Room" and no one knows how he made his fortune, where he's from or how old he is. This guy would drop dollars on your party and you could party in style.  Santa may not be played by the best of actors (Tommy may want to do it himself) but this guy is so strange, all of your guest will leave the party more puzzled than when they met this man.  If you haven't seen The Disaster Artist or The Room, both are must sees.

Winner of the Day: The Cincinnati Bearcats Basketball Team. On a night where their team honored former coach Bobby Huggins, the team dismantled the UCLA Bruins on national TV to show they may be a force to be dealt with come tournament time.

Loser of the Day: Jake Walter. Son of former Bengals player Joe Walter, Jake, a 7 foot center for Cov Cath was destined to go to Xavier, however he never enrolled. Turns out a couple of weekends ago, Walter is alleged to have raped someone against their will using his size to not let her go and laughed and said something like you will get over it. 

Link to the cincinnati.com article

Quote of the Day: "You gotta have life your way. If you ain't losing your mind, you ain't partying right."

Song of the Day: The Christmas Guest by Reba McIntire

Photoshop of the Day: 

Is There A God?, Justin Bieber is apparently a dad, Tubby Smith, and Ochocinco

I write today with glazed eyes and glazed doughnuts.  I'm tired because I went and enjoyed UK's first exhibition game of the season.  Thanks to Mr. Chad Mangan for the free ticket.  They looked terrible in the first half and ran away with it in the second.  Kidd-Gilchrist was the best player on the court last night on a team that includes Terrence Jones, Doron Lamb, and Anthony Davis.  This blog isn't about that though although I want to spend some time talking about Tubby Smith haters.  But first I must mention that glazed doughnuts are great but I hate getting my hands all messy eating them.  I had to take a break from typing to actually eat the doughnuts.  I was dipping them in my tea, and some say Heaven doesn't exist, but I think I just tasted a piece of Heaven eating that doughnut dipped in tea.
                           


And I'm not the most religious person in the world but there has to be some higher power out there.  I believe in science and I don't believe humans walked with dinosaurs like the Creation Museum apparently tells us.  I believe in a higher power because what started everything?  Okay, maybe there was a big bang, but how did it start?  What created us too?  I had a science professor once say that everything is a theory until proven right or wrong.  He also said you can't prove there is a God but you can't prove there isn't either.  I can't prove it by any means, but some things I just can't explain.  


My sister Laura had tumors in her brain when she was 2.  Doctors gave her less than a 1% chance to survive.  She had to go into  the doctor to get a CT scan to see if the tumors had spread.  They let my parents take her home for Christmas.  On Christmas Eve, we attended St. Anthony for their famous Christmas pageant which years later I would go on to star in with my two sisters (foreshadowing that she lives).  Anyway, after the mass Laura asked my mother if she could go talk to baby Jesus.  It wasn't the real baby Jesus, of course, rather some doll wrapped in swaddling clothes made to look like him, but nonetheless my mom let her go talk to him.  Laura went up to the doll and said, "Baby Jesus, can you make me all better?"  Of course this brought tears to my mom's eyes.  Laura looked up and said, "I'm all better now." My mother I'm sure hoped that was the case but she knew that the tumors would still be there.  The CT scan happened the day after Christmas and the doctor came in to give my mom the results. "You're not going to believe this," he said, "The tumors are all gone.  We can't find a single one."  It turned out everything truly was gone, and Laura was able to live. So there you go.  Explain it. You can't.


Anyway, to Tubby Smith.  Tubby should be considered one of the good coaches in UK history.  He won one of 7 National Championships.  You all say it was done with Pitino's team, and maybe Rick recruited that team, but he didn't stick around to coach them.  It takes a lot of balls to take over a team where the fans loved their coach and made it to back to back championships.  I admire Tubby for it.  The 1998 team was the least talented team of the 1996, 1997, and 1998 teams too.  Tubby had to do it with less talent, and he beat Duke after being down 15.  If that's not coaching I don't know what is.  He went on to recruit some of my favorite players: Tayshaun Prince, Keith Bogans, Cliff Hawkins, Chuck Hayes, Erik Daniels, Rajon Rondo, Joe Crawford, Jodee Meeks, Randolph Morris, Ramel Bradley, and I could go on and on.  He played a slow style which isn't always the most exciting and better fit for Big 10 basketball but he made it work and I am grateful for his tenure with Kentucky basketball.

  
Now to Ochocinco.  There are a lot of people who dislike him too for being out there.  He says things he shouldn't say and he did stupid things on the field.  I must say without him the Bengals may still be terrible.  He made it fun to be a Bengal.  They were terrible when they drafted him back in 2002.  He brought fun back to the locker room where everyone just planned on losing 14 games a year.  He got a little crazy at the end, but he should be considered one of the top 20 Bengals of all time.

Winner of the Day: Watermelon.  A study from UK says that Watermelon is good for your heart and weight.  I hope this includes watermelon flavored Air Heads because I've been tearing those up lately.  The Whole Read.

Loser of the Day: Justin Bieber.  This chick, according to star magazine, who is 20 years old claims to have had sex backstage with Justin and wants support for her son.  The woman seeks a paternity test.  I hope this is true.  It would be hilarious.  What the hell does Selena Gomez think of this? Read the story which asks if Maury Povich is available.

Quote of the Day: "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."-Oprah Winfrey


Song of the Day: You by Lucy Pearl ft. Q-Tip and Snoop Dogg

Tattoo of the Day: Isn't that the brain from TMNT?