Don't Call It A Comeback, Top 5 Celebrities that will make your Christmas Party More Eventful

I have blogged off and on since way back in 2005 on Myspace. I came across some of my old posts today, from those old blogs and thought I'd dust off the old keys on this laptop and write a bit. David's Brain, the V.I.P. section hit it's peak in 2011 when I wrote almost daily. I would come on here off and on to talk about sports, write my own lyrics to popular songs or bring awareness to type one diabetes. Since 2011, I've somehow gotten over 32,000 views with no real topic for my posts.  

If your only outlet to this world is reading my blogs, then I am sorry I haven't had a post since April 26, 2017 and that was a tiny blog about ESPN Layoffs. There are broken links, pictures and gifs throughout my blogs, but I don't think they change the points of the blogs I used to write. I want to start keeping up with this regularly again. I may bring back my winners and losers of the day as that was a popular section of my blogs.  I would also do top 5 lists which I want to bring back starting today. To get back into the groove, let's do a top 5. Today, I am going to do:

 Top 5 Celebrities Who Would Make Your Christmas Party More Eventful

Honorable Mentions

Charlie Sheen

I didn't say it was going to be legal. Just eventful.  Can you imagine doing white elephant with this guy in your circle? You could open the gift and it could be a hooker or a block of cocaine.

Deion Sanders

When I was growing up, this man could do no wrong.  He was good and he'd tell you he was too. He would high step right into your party and make you dance to Christmas Rappin' by Kurtis Blow.

Top Five

5. Guy Fieri

If you know me, you know it is in my mind Guy Fieri is a partying machine.  I once had a friend that no matter what you did when you went out with him, it would be one of the craziest nights of your life. That's what it would be like if your Christmas Party went to Flavortown. Fieri would tell his cheesy one line jokes while slamming your egg nog and stealing your girl. 

4. Miley Cyrus

Eventful is not always a good thing. As I think Guy would be a trip, Miley coming to your party would be a trip... to the ER. She does all of this for attention and she is the cliche child star head case, girl was known to throw it down at parties. She'd come in like a wrecking ball and "do what she wants." Chestnuts won't be the only nuts roasting on an open fire if you invite Miley.

3. Justin Bieber

I'd be lying if I didn't used to think this kid was a douchebag who did bad things just to be the cool kid. I think he egged Keyshaun Johnson's house or something like that, and I know he's been busted for street races, and I know he's been a jackass and the butt of many jokes but I actually think he'd be fun to have a Christmas party with. I could see myself now trying to do the Ludacris part from "Baby" with my wife looking at me like, "Dave, don't embarrass me in front of the Biebs like that."

2. Ocho Cinco

Okay, I'm kind of being a homer here, but here me out (or really read me out). This guy single handedly brought fun back to being a Bengals fan.  He made it fun. If he can make a stale team with a stale owner cool, what could this man do for your Christmas party? On the 5th day of Christmas Ocho would bring you Five Golden Teeth. He wouldn't take anything too seriously and he would be cool if you catered McDonald's. No need to get fancy with him. You doubt this decision? Child please.

1. Tommy Wiseau

So this guy is still Hollywood's biggest mystery. They made a movie about him because he made the worst movie ever made. He spent millions on making "The Room" and no one knows how he made his fortune, where he's from or how old he is. This guy would drop dollars on your party and you could party in style.  Santa may not be played by the best of actors (Tommy may want to do it himself) but this guy is so strange, all of your guest will leave the party more puzzled than when they met this man.  If you haven't seen The Disaster Artist or The Room, both are must sees.

Winner of the Day: The Cincinnati Bearcats Basketball Team. On a night where their team honored former coach Bobby Huggins, the team dismantled the UCLA Bruins on national TV to show they may be a force to be dealt with come tournament time.

Loser of the Day: Jake Walter. Son of former Bengals player Joe Walter, Jake, a 7 foot center for Cov Cath was destined to go to Xavier, however he never enrolled. Turns out a couple of weekends ago, Walter is alleged to have raped someone against their will using his size to not let her go and laughed and said something like you will get over it. 

Link to the cincinnati.com article

Quote of the Day: "You gotta have life your way. If you ain't losing your mind, you ain't partying right."

Song of the Day: The Christmas Guest by Reba McIntire

Photoshop of the Day: 

The Brainey's (The Winners and Losers of 2011)

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, or if you don't believe in celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, I hope you had a merry December 25th anyway.  I apologize for not writing yesterday.  Here I am today though and today will be the the Brainey's, which are the blog awards of the year.  Here we go....


Winner of the Year: Charlie Sheen.  He made "winning" a catch phrase this year during his insane meltdown.  He did a lot of crazy things in this calender year, and he wins because he says it himself, he's winning.  The guy lost his job as the highest paid television actor and did that stop him?  No.  The whole nation was captivated for about two weeks on what was Charlie going to do next.

Loser of the Year: Evil Dictators.  We lost Osama Bin Laden (allegedly), Moammar Kaddafi, and Kim Jong Il this year.  These were three thorns in America's side, especially Osama.  It still confuses me that we would just randomly kill him when Obama was slipping in the polls, but at least he's dead.  The guy was number one on America's Most Wanted list and it was long overdue after what happened on 9-11-01.  Kaddafi was killed as well and Il became ill with a heart attack.  It wasn't a good year to be an evil dictator.

Quote of the Year: "I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple's CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come."-Steve Jobs in his resignation letter to Apple employees.


Movie of the Year: Rise of the Planet of the Apes.  Now before you get mad at me, realize that I can only give this award to a movie I've seen.  I plan on watching Ides of March, Moneyball, X Men: First Class, Captain America, and Thor, but I haven't gotten a chance to see them yet.  This was a slow year in movies.  Nothing really attracted me to go to a theater.  I did see this movie in theaters and was actually impressed with a lot of the movie even though the special effects were pretty cheesey.

Worst Movie of the Year: Never Say Never.  I have not seen it but even the Bieber fans said the movie was terrible.  It is a documentary about the Canadian's life.  It fails to document the fiasco he had being accused of impregnating a chick in the bathroom which turned out to be false.  I am a fan of documentaries but I'd rather watch a Harry Potter marathon than watch this movie.

Comedy of the Year:  This was a toss-up between 3 2.5 out of 5 star movies in my opinion.  Horrible Bosses, Bridesmaids, and the winner.... Friends with Benefits.  Horrible Bosses was okay.  I mean I laughed out loud a few times but not often.  Bridesmaids dragged for long stretches, but the bathroom scene had me dying.  Friends with Benefits wins, maybe because of Mila Kunis being in it, or maybe because Justin Timberlake actually didn't ruin the movie like I expected.  It came out shortly after No Strings Attached and they seemed like two of the same movies.  This one shined was gold compared to No Strings Attached.

Song of the Year: Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO. How did these two losers ever get popular?  You can't go anywhere without hearing this song and I am guilty of dancing to it a few times.  It gets stuck in your head and now hamsters are rocking out to it.

Baby of the Year: Carson Palmer.  Who else?  The guy whined and whined his way out of Cincinnati.  He refused to ever play a down for him and Mike Brown held his ground and refused to trade him until the right deal came along.  The golden boy got his wish.

Most overused word of the year: Lockout.  The NBA and NFL were both in lockouts and the term was heard almost everyday this year on Sportscenter.  

Story of the year: Jerry Sandusky and Penn State.  The guy tarnished the image of Joe Paterno and the University when it was found out that Sandusky had been molesting boys and it was covered up by the administration.  Everyone lost their jobs.

Trial of the Year: Is it Casey Anthony or Michael Jackson's Doctor?  I'm going with Casey Anthony.  For some reason, the whole country was drawn into it.  The woman was found not guilty of killing her daughter.  I know this isn't the popular opinion but I agree with the ruling because that is what our justice system states, "guilty beyond reasonable doubt."  There was doubt she did it.  No one could absolutely prove it.  Do I think she did it?  It doesn't matter but yes I believe she killed the poor kid, but she should've been found not guilty.

Upset of the Year: The Blackout over the Red Team.  This is a personal one for me.  In March, my high school had an alumni tournament.  Last January, I decided to put a team together but not many people were left.  I would've joined another team, but I was deemed not good enough.  Stuart Watton and I were they only people on the team.  We then picked up stragglers.  Jimmy Scott was kicked off his team for having too many players.  We picked up Justin Caudill who is a ginger, but I overlooked it and Doug McIntosh, the older cooler brother of Brad McIntosh.  We landed Ricky Buckler, Bruno Beriopgjipgjeroitgjliouf and Ben Parr.  The team was not expected to win a game.  We called ourselves The Blackout.  We got whipped by 30 in our first game, and we faced the high flying red team in the second.  Everything clicked.  The team with the least amount of actual basketball experience knocked off a team that included Derek Bryan, Hunter Jones, Kurt Jansen and others.

Sports Play of the Year: Jerome Simpson.  Happened just last week and I'm not a prisoner of the moment.  This play was crazy.  How did he stick the landing like he's Kerri Strug or something?  He had trouble with the law this year involving 7 pounds of marijuana, but he definitely got "high" on this play.

Surprise of the Year:  I have got to give this to the Bengals as well.  Many were expecting them to win at most 2 games, and on the first day of 2012, have a chance to make the playoffs.  I'm proud of them. 

Most over-talked about story of the Year: Gabrielle Giffords.  Okay I get that she was shot in the head and it was a big deal, but the constant updating of her state every night, on entertainment and news shows was ridiculous.  Her husband is a NASA astronaut...How cute?  They needed privacy, not cameras in their faces all the time.

Marriage of the year: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.  Because it fit within the year.

Could Care Less Wedding of the Year: Prince William and Kate.  Way too much coverage.  We aren't under British rule anymore.  Why is the media covering this like us Americans care?

Fake Retirement of the Year: Oprah Winfrey.  She left her show, okay goodbye Oprah we'll miss you....oahp never mind she has an entire network now.

Arnold Moment of the Year: when it was revealed he had a love child.  He's still the man.

Athlete of the Year: Aaron Rodgers.  The guy lead the Packers to the Superbowl and is about to win the MVP for this season.

WNBA Moment of the Year:  Just kidding. I got ya.


Deaths of the Year:  We lost a lot of amazing people this year.  You can see an entire list here but I want to spotlight a few:


Patrice O'Neal: My Diabetic com padre that lost his life too soon at age 41.  I wrote my own obituary to him, follow the link if you haven't read it... Patrice O'Neal---his battle with diabetes and what it means to me. 

Steve Jobs: If it wasn't for him, none of you would be jamming to ipods, surfing your ipads, or know what an app is on your iphones.  The guy was important to the technological advancement in this country.

Randy Savage: This was sad because he died from a car accident.  He will be linked with a bunch of wrestlers who died prematurely due to drug use which is a shame.  He was one of my favorites.  He was a member of the NwO, and he had that awesome flying elbow.  He also had a rap cd which is amazing, and a role in the hit movie, Spiderman.

Robert Traylor: Known as the Tractor.  This guy was a lot of hype coming out of Michigan, once traded for Dirk, who won the NBA title in 2011.  He died too soon.

Nate Dogg: He was brought up in West Coast rapping, as a childhood friend of Snoop Dogg.  He was known for his unique voice.

Elizabeth Taylor: Yeah, I don't really have much to say on her, except she was a princess of Hollywood and was known for her style and beauty and marriages.

Amy Winehouse: She was an amazing singer.  She was misunderstood a lot of the time and had a drug problem but she had talent.  She had a throwback voice.

Carl Lindner:  I wrote my own obituary for Carl, who was my boss for a short period of time, but what he did for this city, means a lot to me and he will not be forgotten. Carl Lindner, a kid for a car, bullies, and The Colossus of Rhodes

Joe Frazier: If he had boxed in any other time period, he would have been considered the greatest of his era; he just happened to box during the time of Ali.  Every superstar needs a rival and Frazier was Ali's. I wrote an obituary on Joe as well... Go Vote, Joe Frazier dies, and Top 5 boxing movies (Rocky not included)

Heavy D:  He was a hip-hop legend and his style was fun and upbeat.  He was even referenced by the great Notorious BIG in Juicy.  The guy could flow with the best of them.

Andy Rooney: Andy was someone who I always liked because at the end of 60 Minutes, he would talk like I blogged.  Some people didn't get him, but enough people did.  I wrote about Heavy D and Andy Rooney in this blog: Horrible News Stories, Deaths come in Threes, and a Real Life Ringer Story

Here are a few people I lost this year that were near and dear to my heart:


Florence "Grandma Flo" Brooks: My paternal grandmother; she had memory loss for years and she finally joined her husband who she lost in 1996 in Heaven.  She was a very religious person and cared about everyone in her life.  She had 13 children which is a feat in itself.  I will miss you Grandma.

Ron Losey: He was my neighbor but much more than that.  He was a grandfatherly figure to my family and he treated us as if we were his own blood.  I wrote about him here: Heaven landed a Hell of a Man Last Night

Mary Lou Ponchot: My high school Algebra and Geometry teacher.  She really was a positive influence on me and she will be greatly missed by the Bellevue community. Read my thoughts on her passing here. Rest in Peace, Mrs. Ponchot

So overall, 2011 was an average year.  I refuse to write about the protests because I don't even care and I hate that the Cardinals won the World Series, so no awards for them... I recapped my own 2011 in a blog last week, which if you missed you can read here... My year in meeting new People, Ohio Drivers, Getting my licence, & Kim Jong-il . I started writing these blogs in August and I love doing it and I hope you all enjoy reading them.  I hope that you continue to in 2012.  My Top 10 most popular blogs of 2011 are listed below, according to statistics compiled by blogspot.  I hope you all enjoyed the first annual Brainey's, a spinoff of the old Myspace Diesel of the Year Awards.


10. Things I'd Rather do than Watch A Harry Potter Marathon + Merry Christmas
9. Penn State did the Right Thing
8. What should I Write About? ---this one is the deepest blog I've written
7. Relationship Advice Column Edition 4, WHAT IS LOVE?
6. Is There A God?, Justin Bieber is apparently a dad, Tubby Smith, and Ochocinco
5. Relationship Advice Column Edition 6: Game Playing, Top 5 Romantic Comedies and A Crazy Facebook Story
4. Relationship Advice Column, Top 5 Gingers, Schweddy Balls, Fat Guy Sues Whitey's
3. Rest in Peace, Mrs. Ponchot
2. Heaven landed a Hell of a Man Last Night
1. The Pregnancy Story, NKU goes D-1, the Rock & Roll HOF, & Lindsay strips down.

Mike Tython, Charlie Sheen, Giant Sloths, Living Forever, and Diabetes...oh and Chaz is still in on DWTS

Okay so I'm a day late, but I finally got around to watching the Roast of Charlie Sheen.  Overall, it was okay but definitely not the best roast Comedy Central has ever done.  No Lisa Lampenelli.  No Greg Geraldo. No Snoop Dogg.  No Pam Anderson.  The roast did however have the show stealing, Iron Mike Tython, my bad, Tyson.  Tyson looked to be having a great time, but he still is the most sexist person in the world living up to his 'I won't do an interview with a woman unless I fornicate with them' self.  Iron Mike is such an awesome guy.  I know he rubs people the wrong way but I think he's one of the funniest athletes.

Jeff Ross was by far the funniest roaster.  He was dressed in a Moammar Gadhafi outfit.  His jokes threw down more zingers than Charles Barkley could eat.  Speaking of zingers, what's better Twinkies or Zingers?  I'm a twinkie guy I eat them on occassion but I LOVE those red coconut zingers.  The chocolate are okay too.  Either way you can get deep fried zingers, twinkies, and oreos at Bard's Burgers in Latonia.  Never had their deep fried stuff but I have had their fries.  A lot of people say, to die for but I'm still telling you the french fries at Rio Grande, still the best I've had.  You have to go to a Mexican restaurant to get the best FRENCH fries.  This world makes no sense.

Speaking of no sense.  I hated some of the jokes that were being said about Patrice O'Neal.  I know it's a roast and I know they know what they are getting into but talking about diabetes and feet getting cut off is not cool.  This is a sensitive subject to me for obvious reasons.  Charlie Sheen did alright but he had so much practice from the roast tour he was booed off of that it just comes natural.  Eric "the Red" Davis was there in the audience which was cool.  

OVERALL GRADE: C 


Switching Gears
So since the blog switched to a somber mood, does anyone really want to live forever?  You'd have to watch everyone you love and care about die and make new way younger friends than you and if you were to live forever it would have to be like Tuck Everlasting style where you just stay the same age and not Green Mile style where you slowly get really old.

So Chaz Bono, is still on Dancing With The Stars.  Ron Artest was eliminated.  That's about all I know from that show.

Winner of the Day: Charlie Sheen. Because he's 'already won.'

Loser of the day: The dead body.  Some woman stole a hearse in West Virginia. Wow. HERE IS THE STORY


Quote of the Day: Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second. -William James


Song of the Day: Everything you Want by Vertical Horizon

Extinct animal of the day: Obviously the giant sloth.  Look at this creature.  I wish it still lived.  It was the size of trees.  I hear they make good pets.

Emmy's, Police, and Bill Maher/Charlie Sheen not Winning!

So the red carpet is out and the Emmy's went on last night which is like Freshman Football.  The Golden Globes are JV and the Academy Awards are varsity.  I missed the show, but it looks as though if you watched these things, just like last year, you would think that no one in Hollywood is straight.  The host: Jane Lynch: Lesbian.  Every show creator seems to be thanking his husband and the females even are gay.  Modern Family tore it up again.  I've only seen a couple of episodes of the show, but I think the only straight guy in Hollywood plays the best gay guy on television (the fat one).  Melissa McArthy won for best lead actress in a comedy for Mike and Molly.  I used to like that show but the story line has been the same for too long.  Charlie Sheen appeared at the awards.  He looked sincere as he wished "nothing but the best" for his Two and a Half Men co-stars.  The dude looked all cleaned up.  I wonder if he sobered up because he stopped winning and became white noise to all of us who have a brain.

Most critics gave the show a 'thumbs up' and I'd have to see them to know but I'm of the opinion that there doesn't need to be a host at these things.  It wastes time.  The jokes they give at awards shows seem to bomb nowadays.  America misses Bob Hope and Billy Crystal.  Jane Lynch is funny but only to a niche crowd.  The critics.


Now here is a rant.  So police officers?  What the hell?  I was on driving probation with my licence almost suspended for nearly 6 months for a couple of speeding tickets and running a stop sign (which I never ran).  Why is it that these guys can continuously drive after getting DUI after DUI and a law abiding citizen like me gets thrown under the bus for allegedly speeding?  Why do the kick off a group of us from playing football on a public city field?  They don't have anything better to do? There are worse things going on in this world.  And pulling into a parking lot and then asked for your licence and registration 5 seconds after you pulled in? WOW! This mall cop looking guy did that to me last night. To quote a close friend, "ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh."  Let's take down rapists, murderers, embezzlers, thieves, drug dealers, child molesters, or any other more serious crime.  Wow that sounds like I just described the rap genre.  Speaking of rap, the N.W.A., were right, "F*** the police."

Winner of the Day:JIM PARSONS. He won a rare repeat in the best lead role in a comedy series category at the Emmy Awards.  It is the best sitcom on television right now and probably the best since Everybody Loves Raymond.  Two and a Half Men had a great run but the writing for Big Bang Theory is way better. Two and a Half Men got way too sexual.

Loser of the day:Bill Maher.  He went 0-27 in nominations after losing again this year.  How pathetic is that?  It's kind of pathetic and it should be like baseball.  It should be hard to go on that big of a losing streak.  Eventually you'll win one accidentally or something.

Quote of the day: "There's nothing bigger in life than the little things."-Vanilla Sky


Song of the day: Then by Brad Paisley

Dance of the day: The Yeti Stomp