Relationship Advice Column, Top 5 Gingers, Schweddy Balls, Fat Guy Sues Whitey's

ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE LADY READERS: Need relationship advice?  Send your questions into me.  I will give the best advice I can on here and it will always be anonymous to anyone involved (I will replace the names with fictional names) in your question including you.  You can tweet your questions to me @DavidBrooks1985, email them to DavidBrooks1985@gmail.com, Facebook message them to me at Facebook.com/davidbrooksjr, or just comment anonomously on any blog I post.  Starting next Friday I will answer up two questions at a time depending on the volume of my requests.  Here is an example of what I will be doing since I already had a willing participant:

From Reader: let me fill you in, I became very good friends with this guy Jules then started dating his best friend Vincent (current bf). Vincent's a great guy; I do like him he's exactly what I need in my life but the problem is Jules and I have developed this thing for each other. I tried to let it go, so did he but it just doesn't work and I dont wanna hurt Vincent because I care about him but idk what to do. Jules is not exactly the bf type but you can't help how ya feel .. so wow it feels great to get that off my chest lol NOBODY knows, I have no best friends or even good friends except Jules.

Other Facts about the issue:

• Jules and Vincent have been best friends since high school, even so close they have worked together.
• Jules recently came to Reader's house and threw pennies at her house late at night, similar to a fairy tale.
• Jules has kissed Reader but nothing more.  It was a surprise.

My Advice:The first thing I thought of reading this was that this reminds me a whole heck of a lot of the movie Threesome, starring Laura Flynn Boyle, Stephen Baldwin and Josh Charles.  The situation is almost identical except for Josh Charles' gay feelings toward Stephen Baldwin.  It's about two best friends who both fall for the same girl and blah blah blah don't want to explain the plot, read it on IMDB but here was my response to the reader.

Guys are simple. Meatheads. They don't hold grudges. they throw it down when they argue and then turn around and hang out the next day black eye and all. This is the case for most things. Throw a girl into the mix and the mancode is out the window.... Vincent is loyal but not much of a connection since the feelings developed for Jules, the long time friend. Jules has kissed you so he has already broken trust with Vincent. If you chose Vincent, it has almost a Percy Sledge "When a Man Loves a Woman" feel. "Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down" however, it isn't the road I would take. You would never be satisfied. You'd never have the feelings you have for Jules. It's not fair to him or you to continue with the 'convienience' of the relationship. It's better to break it off sooner rather than later because feelings just escalade as days go on. I wouldn't exactly jump right into a relationship with Jules if you want to save the 3 way friendship. You can act on your feelings just keep it on the dl for a little while. Then I'd let Jules admit it to the friend and a true best friend would be able to take it. ... not right away but he would get over it and willing to forgive. Vincent may have trouble with you for a while and there's a chance you won't see him for a while but seeing him depends on the friendship between he and Jules as they rebuild so will you and Vincent as friends.

Top 5 Gingers I know Personally

Since I offended some of you yesterday.

5a. Lhea Bryan. As you can see in this picture, she is trying to disguise her red hair but it's impossible to hide the gingerness of a ginger.

5b. Lauren McHale. Because gingers I graduated high school with are excluded from the gingers have no souls list.

4. Juanita Renaker. Because Mindy Merritt (her daughter) would beat me up if I didn't add her to this list.  Plus she's cool.

3. Bubba Justin Caudill. Because he at least acts like he wants to have a soul.

2. Dave Slater. Almost number one because of his striking resemblance to Yukon Cornelious from Rudolph, but I can't give the number one spot to a bald ginger.

1. Doug McIntosh. For being creative, hilarious, and a member of the Blackout and hands down the coolest McIntosh and the rest aren't even gingers so that says a lot.

In other news, remember the Alec Baldwin 'Schweddy balls' skit on SNL? Well Ben & Jerry's is naming an ice cream after it. The story.

Winner of the Day: Tammy Montgomery from Bellevue, KY.  I saw this on Fox19 and thought this dog was pretty awesome.  Tammy sent in the photo.

Loser of the Day: An obese man. So there's lot's of obese men so why this one.  Simple.  He's suing White Castle because the seats are too small.  Is that not ridiculous? Well I'm fat so I'm going to sue you for me coming in here everyday and having me sit on these little seats.  Thanks to Joey Fessler for showing me this story.

Quote of the Day: "If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat."-Demetri Martin

Comment of the Day: Brandy Roberts, self explanatory.

Song of the Day: Fly Me to the Moon, Frank Sinatra. Not only is it Todd Frazier's plate appearance music, but it inspired my high 'send it to the moon' serve I have in volleyball, named the Sinatra.

Heroes of the Day: A bunch of people in Utah saved a motorcylist trapped under a burning car yesterday.  The weird thing is once they pulled him out they let ran and left him there.