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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Fantasy Football, Spongebob's to Blame, Touchdown Jesus, and Fergie Sucks

Why does God always test my blood pressure like I need more issues?  Now men shouldn't get all worked up over the 'silly little game' we know as fantasy football, but not only is it a money thing.  It is a pride thing.  It is a knowledge thing.  It is a strategic thing.  


FLASHBACK TO LAST YEAR: I had made the playoffs in my big money dynasty league.  I squeezed into the sixth and final playoff spot with a defensive struggle saying it kindly against the red headed Doug McIntosh (he's the coolest ginger I know).  All you have to do to win money is to place in the top 4.  One playoff win would do that.  My dreams were crushed early as Roger Babb's team began their rout against the lowly Jigglypuffs (team name last year).  The 'Puffs were down and out but not all hope was dead.  In a receptions league, your quarterback is the most important player and all of his players had played.  Mine (Matt Schaub) was going in the Monday Night Game against the rugged Baltimore Ravens defense and my final starter (Willis McGahee). I didn't even watch the game.  I was down 70 or so points and it seemed like watching the Reds when they were out of the pennant, pointless.  I did however tune into the wonderful FOX19 10:00 news which if you read my previous blogs you know my hatred of the cocky Trisha Macke.  Anyway, the sports were on and it said that the Ravens were up big but Schaub had been throwing the ball all over the place including a couple of touchdown passes. McGahee added a touchdown as well.  I began tuning in having no clue how close my fantasy game was getting.  I watched as Schaub lead a comeback, completing pass after pass.  Finally, they were a 2 point conversion away from a tie.  I decided to check the score of my fantasy game because I knew it had to be close.  The 2 point conversion was good and I saw as my score showed the change.  I was down one.  One point was all I needed.  A completed pass would tie the game and the yardage would surely give me the win.  I watched as the game went into overtime and the Ravens won the toss.  I was like okay, maybe McGahee will catch something out of the backfield; if not 3 and out.  The Texans D held and The Ravens punted the ball, downed the thing on the 1 yard line.  One point, I had it won.  Schaub's going to toss it out there and I'm going to win.  Only problem is he threw a pick-six to the Ravens on the first throw.  Game. Set. Match.


I only bring this situation up because the same exact situation happened this season and I lost by .3 because my league started the decimal scoring system which I don't believe in.  I had two players going (Brandon Lloyd and Sebastion Janikowski) and they tore it up in the first half and failed to show up in the second.  Just my luck.


yeah he's happy but I'm not.

So for you ladies, the Miss Universe Pageant was apparently last night.  Oh yeah, you don't even care either.  If you did I hope you made it through that long sports open to the blog to read this

Remember that Touchdown Jesus Statue that got struck by lightning and fell to pieces?  Well the new one has a new name.  It was switched from "Come Unto Me" to "Lux Mundi" which who knew what its official name was anyway?  I think they should go ahead and go with Jesus Jr. but that's just me.  Touchdown Jesus story.


If you know me, you'd know that I do not agree at all with censorship.  I think it's absurd to blame Marylin Manson for Columbine or Call of Duty for rise in teen shootings.  Now apparently Spongebob is to blame for our apparent, rebellious youth.  In a study a bunch of doctors found that fast paced shows like it are not good for children.  I'm sorry to disagree with these guys but maybe the fast pace shows help them prepare for the fast pace technological world we live in now from getting information from phones, computers, ipads, iphones, etc.  Read Here. 

Winner of the Day: Juan Francisco, 3rd Base, Cincinnati Reds.  I know it's football season and the Reds lost but Francisco clobbered a ball that went over the moon deck for the first time in Great American Ballpark history.  Second longest at the park, behind only Adam Dunn. 



Loser of the Day: Fergie. Face it.  You were terrible last night singing the National Anthem at Monday Night Football. Your voice sucks when you don't cover it with funky beats from will.i.am.

Quote of the day: "Never say no to a great idea. Everything is worth a shot because anything is possible."-From the book Live What You Love: Notes From an Unusual Life by Bob and Melinda Blanchard

Comment of the day: Toby Grainger.

Song of the Day: This Woman's Work by Maxwell.

Stupid Person of the Day:


2 comments:

  1. In regards to the Stupid Person of the Day, it is all about perspective. There are 3 reasons that she is correct and only 1 reason she is wrong. We can start with the obvious, she is wrong because the Moon has a much larger mass than any other choice. She is correct 1 Because the moon is never larger than your thumb and the same can not be said for the other choices. 2 "An Elephant" is clearly the largest answer. 3 The letter "B" is the larger than A,C, or D and requires the most ink when writing.

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  2. I must say this and my crystal ball says that you are a short Bellevue kid that goes to a college i hate and has a brother who looks like matt cain of the sanfrancisco giants...i like your points and it can be argued. she still deserves to be humiliated that was probably a first question and whenever you lose on those its a fail.

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