I have come to the conclusion that I am single handedly responsible for the Carson Palmer trade that broke shortly after my blog was published yesterday. Thank you Mike Brown for not allowing me to credit myself with the trade yesterday and make me patiently wait to write this today. Anyway, I'm certain the tightwad owner of the Bengals reads my blog. If you are a loyal reader of my blog, on Monday I predicted the Raiders would overpay and I begged Mike Brown to make the deal... Here is the passage...
Whether Mike reads my blog or not, I must say this is a win, win for the Bengals. No longer is this cloud of Carson hanging over the team. No longer do we have to worry about Carson randomly showing up halfway through the year disrupting team chemistry. No longer does he matter. The Bengals can finally move on. The Carson/Chad era is officially over. Embrace these new kids. They play harder than those guys ever did. And on top of that Mike Brown ripped off the Raiders big time. A first and a second rounder that could turn into a first for a quarterback in his 30's? Wow. And is Carson anorexic or something? Gosh he looked skinny at his press conference last night.
Now for my take on schools nowadays. Why do they keep changing the rules? Did we turn out that bad? I mean in the cafeterias they took away the malts, and the slushies, and the Powerades. Now all they have are healthy choices. No more 30 (yep still can't find the cent symbol on the keyboard) cent chips, ding dongs, and zebra cakes. Were we that out of shape when we graduated?
I actually bring up schools because Ohio is trying to pass a law that requires teachers get paid on performance rather than tenure or however it is now. I'm sorry but this isn't fair at all. No teacher can absolutely control a student's will to try or learn. This will spring arguments over kids and every kid will have to be ranked on a scale and divided evenly which is truly impossible to do. Teachers will fight with their colleagues over kids with higher test scores. The whole thing isn't fair.
And now how about this story? Is this a real life Animal Farm with more exotic animals? A bunch of beasts (lions, bears, and bigger animals) were loose on an Ohio farm. It almost sounds like a prison riot. The owner had shot a few of the beasts but he was found dead when animal control arrived. Read about it.
Winner of the Day: Mike Brown. Cherish this because you suck and may never win again. But you should be charged with grand larceny for that trade you pulled off. Maybe all of that holding out actually paid off. To quote Jacob Grosser's friend, "your gm must have nudie pics of Al Davis or something."
Loser of the Day: Andre Smith. Because when I was searching for a picture of Mike Brown on Google this photo popped up of you.
Quote of the Day: "Some fairy tales are real, but most are just stories we make up to deal with our pathetic lives." -Dakota Fanning asLorraine "Ray" Schleine in Uptown Girls
Song of the Day: You're my Everything by the Temptations
Celebrity without makeup view of the day: Eva Longoria. You can guess which side is which.
Carl Lindner Jr. (1919-2011), 92, passed away this morning after an emergency call about chest pains and a weak pulse. This is sad news for the city of Cincinnati and even more so for my company, Great American Insurance. He started out with his brothers and co-founded UDF, you know the moo malts? Yep that was him. He then started an insurance company, originally called German American Insurance company but changed the name to Great American Insurance during the World War II stuff (thank you orientation for me knowing that). Anyway, he went on to control Chiquita and then owned the Reds for a short period of time. He bought them because an out of town businessman showed interest in buying the Reds from Marge Schott and planned on moving the team. Carl was like I'm not having that. I'm a rich dude. We are going to keep the Reds in the birthplace of professional baseball and my hometown...Cincinnati. I remember back when the Reds were about to move out of town. That would've been one of the biggest travesties in baseball. A lot of people are upset that the Cincinnati Reds aren't the only team to play on Opening Day anymore (well them and their opponent). Just imagine the uproar had they have moved. Thanks to Carl Lindner we never had to worry about that. Now he wasn't the best owner in the world. He was a business guy not a baseball guy, but he saved baseball in Cincinnati and that alone makes him a hero in my eyes. Without Carl, I wouldn't be working in the tallest building in Cincinnati with one of the most gorgeous views of the city anyone can get. This is single handedly the best company I've worked for. They are so nice to their employees and it is a pleasure to come into work everyday. It's just a reflection of the great leader we had in this company. Carl you truly will be missed. You are a Cincinnati legend; as classic as chili, goetta, flying pigs, and the Reds. May you rest in peace sir. You deserve it. Read more about Carl from Cincinnati.com.
There is no proper way to transition from such a somber story, but here is something absolutely sad, perverted, evil, and any other terrible word you can think of.... So this couple bought a car from a used car salesman. No big deal. They started getting behind on payments...They wanted to keep the car, so what do you do? Get a second job? Sell unwanted items on ebay? Naaa. Try offering your 14-year old daughter for sex. the used car guy accepted the deal and now all three are in jail. How screwed up is that. They all have molestation charges against them, and I'm shocked the parents aren't charged with some sort of underage prostitution and how does the girl feel about all of this? She's got to be messed up beyond repair now. Her parents have been ordered to have no contact for 20 years. What a strange story. You have to read it.
Winner of the Day: Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. He won best cameo at the Scream Awards which apparently is in its 6th year. It honors the best in comic book, horror, and sci-fi movies and television. The thing airs on Spike TV. I haven't seen X-Men: First Class yet but I hear it is worth seeing. A list of all the winners.
Loser of the Day: 40% of kids, because apparently they keep getting bullied. Stand up for yourselves guys and you out there bullying them, I'm being serious here... Get to know the kids. Most people have the same interests as you. I've been friends with people who dress in all black, have tattoos or piercings in places you can't imagine. I've been friends with people who smell and people who are really smart. Don't bully. Everyone's the same. Seriously there's no point. That being said these kids also have to have a sense of humor about themselves. People will stop picking on you if you joke about yourself with them. They get no pleasure in it.... Read Me.
Quote of the Day: "I don't scratch my head unless it itches and I don't dance unless I hear some music. I will not be intimidated. That's just the way it is."-Denzel Washington as Herman Boone in Remember the Titans
The Colossus of Rhodes: Representing the Greek God Helios, the Colossus of Rhodes, is located on the Greek Island of Rhodes. Standing at 107 ft tall, the statue was the tallest statue of the ancient world. The statue stood for 56 years before it was hit by the 226 BC Rhodes earthquake. The Statue suffered significant damage snapping at the knees and tumbling over on to the land. Offers were made to have it rebuilt but the oracle of Delphi made the Rhodians fearful that they had offended Helios, and they declined to rebuild it.
Today is the day I am supposed to write a passage about the winner of the contest from Thursday. There is some controversy with this contest as "2" brings up, but I am fairly certain as the writer of this blog I get to make the rules on who I write about. That being said, I will write about you "2" but I can't say much because I have no idea who the hell you are. You refuse to name yourself in your comments and all I know is that you sometimes go by Y.C. and you are male. My two guesses for you are Branden Youtsey or Jacob Grosser. Am I correct about either of those two guesses?
Before I get to the main course of our feast, I will mention Mindy Merritt. She is my P.I.C. here at work. She helps me come up with ideas for this blog and she helped me save a bird on Friday. She failed to win the contest but she read the question wrong. I had to mention her, because without Mindy, I couldn't do half of the things I do right now at work.
Now for the actual winner. Okay number 2, she didn't post the countries that border Bhutan as a comment, but she did answer the question before anyone else. I first met this girl when I was 17 or 18. We worked together at AMC. I became good friends with a lot of people there. This girl wasn't one of them. I actually hung out with her sister more than her. She ended up quitting that job way before me and I didn't think much of it because I rarely even spoke to her. I then had a class with her at NKU. We didn't sit by each other and it was a Human Nutrition class. Of course I didn't do too well in the class. I hated the professor in there because she would constantly talk about how you should eat healthy and this and that, and the woman was bigger than me if my memory serves me correctly. Don't teach a human nutrition class and expect me to follow these ridiculous guidelines if your jigglypuff of a body doesn't do it yourself. I'm not shallow by any means but this woman is one of the biggest hypocrites I have ever met. Anyway, back to my story... I wish I would've talked to her back then to help me through the class that I had no business being in because knowing her now, I know she would've helped me through. Let's fast forward a little bit, because if I give every detail you all will be reading for hours...Well somehow, I started talking to her. I believe about a relationship she was in at the time and I gave some advice or something. We bonded over our advice throughout the years, and this girl became one of my best friends. Of course our lives got in the way and we couldn't hang out as much as we wanted, but we always made it a point to get together and discuss our lives over lunches. Lately, we have been closer than ever. She helped me through many rough times and kept me optimistic in every situation. She actually got me to read a book, which you have to have a lot of influence on me to get me to do that for those of you who know me. She and I plan on doing a relationship advice book in the future. It may be a pipe dream but I think we can really do it. We graduated college together (along with my sister Laura. It took me 7 years to graduate. Don't make fun of me and yes I've heard the Tommy Boy joke way too many times in my life). This girl is one of the most beautiful and smartest girls I will ever meet and without her I wouldn't be half of the person I am today. This blog goes out to my girl, April Reckley.
Now I must write about this because it sounds promising. Jason Campbell got injured yesterday. He broke is collarbone. The Raiders are actually contenders this year and they want to win this year in Al Davis' memory. With their starting quarterback out, they have to search for someone to fill his shoes. Kyle Boller sucks so it's not going to be him and Terrell Pryor isn't anywhere near ready for that. They can go after David Garrard but apparently they have someone else in mind, Carson Palmer. Mike Brown continuously says he refuses to trade Carson but isn't it time? A team probably willing to overpay is trying to get him, your team is doing well without him and it will get rid of the distraction. The Story!
Winner of the Day: Los Angeles. They are lucky because Nick Lachey is moving from L.A. to Cincinnati. Please take him back. We do not want him here. We do not cherish you. Read Me.
Loser of the Day: Bath Salts. They are no longer allowed to be sold in Ohio because they are used as recreational drugs or something. You had a good run bath salts. Hmmmm. Read it.
Quote of the Day: "If it's very painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue."- Alice Miller
So today is relationship advice day and the topic of the day is friends. Yep, just friends. Not the homies/brothers friends; this is about friends of the opposite sex. Years ago, it was hard to have friends of the opposite sex. You had your guy friends then you had her wife and her girlfriends. It's not like that anymore. Friendship has become blind to sex. I would say that I have as many if not more female friends as I do male friends. So what is a friend? Someone who is with you during the good times and there for you when the waters get rough. That's basically it. Why should it matter whether it is a male or a female? Well, because sometimes feelings creep in. Not always, but it does happen. Sometimes it is just one person that feels that way, sometimes it is both, but you have to make that line clear especially if one of the people are involved in a relationship. A true friend can set aside his or her feelings for the greater good of the friendship.
So friends with benefits? Why? What is the point? In my opinion you are either together or you are not. When things are exclusive to one person, you are in a relationship but that is just me. You can call it what you want, talking, friends with benefits, dating, going steady, whatever but you are in a relationship. You have sex as friends. Whether you want to admit it or not you are together.
Another thing that happens a lot with friends of the opposite sex is when a friend gets ignored once one of the two friends gets into a relationship. The friend becomes less important to the other but the other will still be there. It has to be understood by both parties during a transition period with a new relationship, things may be uncomfortable for the subject's date that one has a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex.
Main point about being friends. Draw a line. Do not cross it. You know what is right and what isn't. If it feels like more it probably is so either go for more than friends or run back to the other side of the line.
Sorry this isn't the best advice column today, but I had a traumatic experience on break with two of my coworkers so my heart is in other places. We saved a bird. It was a small little bird that looked to have two broken legs...we still have no idea if they were broken. Anyway, we came up on it tried to shoosh it and it didn't move. We finally got it up onto a ledge and it still did not budge. We moved it because some cruel person like Michael Myers or somebody would probably walk down the sidewalk and stomp on the poor thing on purpose. Anyway as I was videoing the thing finally flew away. It was the most fearless bird I have ever seen. It did not fear humans.
Winner of the Day: This gorilla from the Cincinnati Zoo. Taken during HallZooWeen.
Loser of the Day: This bastard, Ronald Williams, who killed his daughter and then cowardly killed himself. The story.
Quote of the Day:"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."-Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick)
Song of the Day: Save the Best for Last by Vanessa Williams
Ugly Athlete of the Day: Dante Bichette...Louie Anderson?
I had a French vanilla cappuccino this morning and I am now on a cup of hot chocolate. I always go with two packets in one cup of hot chocolate; it makes the entire cup delicious. I also prefer it with milk although at work I am required to use just hot water. Milk makes everything better....Cream of Wheat, oatmeal...you name it. Well anyway, someone on my bus today stunk so bad, I almost passed out. You should be courteous to yourself and take care of your hygiene and if not for yourself please do it out of respect to others. On top of that I saw an ant crawling on the seat in front of me. I thought about flicking it but I thought better of it plus the odor in the bus was so thick, the ant would've hit a wall of stink and would have fallen straight down onto me.
So this is an interesting story....a family had to call 911 after getting lost in a maze around dusk (Thanks to reader Jill for the heads up). The family had a newborn and they were found unharmed 25 feet inside the maze. The Story. There are signs up for people who get lost. I don't know why someone would call 911 for this. It reminds me of The Shining when they are in the maze and Jack Nicholson chases after them. Anyway, here's a tour of the maze where the family got lost.The Tour.
So Cincinnati didn't rank in the top 20 cities for singles. I guess that's why I am still single. Looks like I'm heading to New Orleans, the apparent best place for singles. I'm not picky by any means...but down there in NOLA I'm guessing there are a lot of big boned ladies or red bone or whatever they call themselves. At least I could eat a lot of jambalaya and gumbo. Jambalaya was Chris Henry's favorite dish. Just a random fact. Here or the 19 other cities.
Winner of the Day: The King of Bhutan. He got married. If you can tell me which countries border Bhutan I will write my entire blog about you on Monday (except the I believe part). Put it as a comment below here and please put your name not anonymous like number 2.Story
Loser of the Day: Ryan Widmer. He is seeking a 4th trial. I mean seriously, how many times must one strike out before one hangs up the cleats? Dude, you are guilty. You shacked up with some crazy fan while you were awaiting trial. I do, however, believe he should be found not guilty based on reasonable doubt. Pull out the classic, 12 Angry Men; it will inspire you. The Story
Quote of the Day: "People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated." -500 Days of Summer (2009)
Song of the Day: Two out of Three Ain't Bad by Meatloaf
Egyptian God of the Day: Ra. He was the most important God to the Egyptians. He was the God of sun and had a hawk head which makes him kind of cool.
Man Crush is a term that is used to describe a perfectly heterosexual man. What is a man crush you may ask? Well the answer is some man that you aspire to be or look up to. Someone you have always wanted to hang out with is another good way to describe it. You will most likely get called gay for having a man crush, but it is totally okay to have a man crush, and be heterosexual. Most heterosexual men have man crushes.
Robert, my roommate, has had several man crushes. Christian Bale, John C. Riley, Daniel Day Lewis, Tom Hanks, Morgan Freeman, and of course John Malkovich are just some of his man crushes.
Many would say I have a love for chocolate. My top ten man crushes.
10. Morgan Freeman.
This man has been in many movies and is awesome in all of them. Guys want his voice and his weird facial features.
9. Edinson Volquez.
This man crush is Latino Love. This is a strikeout machine which many men are attracted to.
8. Patrick Patterson.
Wow his post presence is amazing. What a beast.
7. Pat Diesel.
No explanation needed.
6. T.J. Houshmandzadeh.
He's rough tough and a scorer what else does a man need?
5. Ken Griffey Jr.
I have been a fan of his ever since he came to the league.
4. Tayshaun Prince.
He's just plain amazing.
3. Mekhi Pfeiffer.
Ever since 8 Mile.
2a. Terrence Howard.
This man is awesome ever since Mr. Holland's Opus. Crash and Hustle and Flow are a couple of great performances by him.
2b. Lil Wayne.
All about the voice.
1. Denzel Washington.
This guy is just one of the best actors ever. Why wouldn't you want to be him?
Come on guys... admit your man crushes.Now my tastes have changed since I posted this blog. Lil Wayne, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Ken Griffey Jr., and Pat Diesel have fallen completely off of the top 10 list. Here is a new list...10. Peabo Bryson-Man enough to sing Disney ballads and be sensitive all the while looking like he will murder you if you just look at him the wrong way. Known for his Beauty and the Beast duet with Celine Dion.
9. Greg Evans- My neighbor who lives his life the way everyone wants to. A fire every night, shirtless whenever possible, drinks beer all the time, loves to search for branches and play volleyball.
8. Morgan Freeman-The voice.
7. Tayshaun Prince-Those five straight 3's against North Carolina will never leave the minds of us Kentucky fans.
6. Shaquille O'Neal-Funniest athlete of all time. Hands down.
5. Pat Sims-will always come to a teammate's defense plus he's a huge black guy.
4. Mekhi Phifer- He's been in O, 8-Mile, the new Dawn of the Dead, and ER. Wherever he was he stole the show.
3. Terrence Howard-He got screwed over on being in Iron Man 2 so he gets a sympathy vote for that plus he refuses to own a TV. We will let him slide on the Law & Order: LA.
2. Ving Rhames-I'm biased because he has the same birthday as me (May 12) but so do Yogi Berra and Prince but they didn't make the list. Ving will murder me if I don't add him. He stars in my favorite movie, Pulp Fiction, as the big shot Marcellus Wallace.
1. Denzel Washington-Hard to beat this guy. He's never asked to be in comedies for some reason but he tears up drama. Training Day is pretty great. So is Remember the Titans and Glory. John Q and He Got Game. I could keep going. He even tried to straighten Ochocinco out.
Congratulations to Greg Evans for being the only white guy on the list. Winner of the Day: David Ison. Who is he? Just a victim of a bad economy. We are feeling it everywhere. Even in drugs. This dude killed 5 people because he was upset the price of Oxycontin went up $2 on the streets. He is a winner because he got the last laugh. You aren't going to raise the price on old David or you will feel the wrath. The Story.
Loser of the Day: Johnny Depp. He was drinking like a pirate and as he was leaving a bar, his bodyguard was shielding him from paparazzi and fell on Johnny and crushed the dude. You can tell he was wasted though because when Johnny tried standing up he was still stumbling. Quote of the Day: "What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll wind up naked."-Jerry Seinfeld
Song of the Day: Windy by the Association
Classic Hip-Hop Beef of the Day: Suge Knight and Vanilla Ice. I wouldn't mess with Suge so why did the weakest dude in hip hop? Suge dangled him from a balcony to get him to sign all of his rights away to Ice Ice Baby because it sampled music from one of Suge's labels. Suge is not fake; he means business.
awake
