When I previously wrote regularly back in 2011, every Friday I would write a relationship advice blog. Sometimes I would have people write in, others I would just go on some most likely confusing talk about a topic in relationships, so I thought I would bring the advice column out of retirement since today is Friday and all. It baffles me how being attracted to someone works. It always seems like whenever someone likes you, you could care less. I mean you dig the attention and all but in reality you want nothing to do with them. This mostly is solved with a lot of ignoring. On the other side you are always chasing after someone else. You like someone but they are always ignoring you. It seems like when looking for a mate, most people chasing after you are inferior and the people you are chasing after are superior. It just baffles me. Every single person who has ever dated is guilty of this. When you ignore someone, they want you more. When you give them attention, they pretty much want nothing to do with you. It's just odd and I can't figure it out. If any of you have the answer please let me know. I will call it, The Relationship Food Chain.
Why does game playing even exists? Is it because human beings have the ability to lie. Why do women play hard to get when all they want is to be with someone? Why do men pretend to be into a girl when all they want is to well you all know what most men want? Game playing makes no sense to me. Someone is always hurt in the end. I get that no one is ever themselves on the first date. You are like the date version of you on steroids. You dress the nicest on date 1. You smell your best and you use your best jokes and never bring up your flaws. I understand why. It's almost like a job interview. Everyone does it. You may actually be yourself just like an exaggerated version. I just wish it were easier. I wish people were just themselves. I want to see what you will be like on Date 12 or Date 279. As you get to know someone, little things start to show up that may annoy you. Maybe someone licks their teeth, or taps their foot. Stuff like that may start bothering you. Every couple has this. If you can fight through this and let the little things go, you're going to have a successful relationship. Quote of the Day: Sometimes the cards we are dealt are not always fair, but you must keep smiling and moving on. -Tom Jackson Song of the Day: Circle of Life by Elton John
Today marks my 101st blog on this website. I feel like I missed my moment to celebrate yesterday with my 100th blog because I was too busy writing a song. Do people celebrate blogging milestones? Why is 100 a big deal in everything anyway? Fans get free tacos at basketball games if the home team scores 100. Wilt Chamberlain is the only NBA player ever to score 100 on his own (Would it have been a big deal if he only got 97?).
Wilt Chamberlain after his 100 point game (There was no video footage of the feat)
We all get excited when Aroldis Chapman hits 100 on the radar gun. We want the Reds to win 100 games this year, which they'd have to go 7-0 the rest of the season to make it and I don't see that happening. We make a big deal when someone makes it to 100 years old. What is the fascination with 100? I don't really understand but I am victim to it as well. I missed my opportunity. It is a pretty astonishing feat to blog about completely nothing 100 times just to hope you make someone smile or laugh for just a second. I blog for you guys. I blog for my friends. This is all for you as much as it is for me. I know life isn't always great, and if one sentence in this makes you forget about all of your problems and smile, that's why I do it. I of course do it for me as well. When I rant on here, I do it because I need to vent. You guys are my ears. Well eyes actually because you are reading and not listening. This world needs to learn to listen more. A lot of people I know never listen. They hear, but they don't listen. I'm guilty of it as much as anybody. If I have a thought and someone is talking I usually just talk louder and louder until I win out, but the fact of the matter is this: if you don't listen nothing can ever be solved. You will never learn. You will never be able to compromise, and most importantly, when you are listening you will never get yourself in trouble. Your tongue can get you in trouble a lot of the time, but your ears are your ally.
What can we do to celebrate a 101st blog? This isn't really my 101'st blog being that I've blogged on Myspace back in the day, where some of my most awesome, raw, work can be read. This is just number 101 on this site. I'm trying to think of times where 101 is significant. Are joke books 101 jokes about whatever or is it 1001? Gosh, I got nothing. So I guess this will just be another blog, and no one probably even cares because the world wide web is busy celebrating Google's birthday. Google is a teenager now at the ripe age of 14. Blogger is a part of Google so I guess I should say, Happy Birthday big brother. Thanks for taking all of my glory. I will end with this. I will attempt to remember to celebrate 200. I've always wanted to do an Oscar-like speech so I will wing it in writing. I want to thank my writing teachers for getting me to 101: Mr. Mayer, Mrs. Barr, Sunny Monig, Ms. Scharber, and I know I'm leaving some of you out but thank you guys. I want to thank the world for continuing to spin. I want to thank my advising board, from Mindy to Mallory to Jill to Nicolette to April on what I should write about when I have a writer's block day. I want to thank those of you who wrote in and participated in my relationship advice columns. I would have far less than 101 blogs if it wasn't for you. I want to thank my mystery commenters who made it fun to try and unravel who you are. I want to thank a particular mystery commenter who showed me how to make the ¢ symbol. That person never revealed themselves. I want to thank God, for making so many ridiculous people to have commentary on. I want to thank my family for producing such a creative mind in my massive head. And finally, I want to thank you, my fans (yes, here is where I land my huge applause if I was actually at an awards show, but why would I be at an awards show for a blog anyway? Are there such shows? And this isn't even an award, just an accomplishment. Well yesterday was, not so much 101, so this may qualify for some sort of lifetime achievement blog). Without you fans, I would not see any need to write. Do you take offense to being called fans? I can refer to you as readers, but really all of you are my friends. So, thank you friends for making me smile everyday. Peace out.
Winner of the Day: Me. For making it to 101 blogs. Loser of the Day: Me. For forgetting to write about making it to 100 blogs yesterday. Quote of the Day: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Song of the Day: : "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang
So I saw this parody of "Call Me Maybe" about the replacement officials in the NFL, which I have yet to blog about but I don't see a point to because we all agree so there really is no reason to keep blabbing about it. Anyway I was inspired to write my own parody. I unfortunately can't sing it and put it on youtube because I'm at work but you get the lyrics. First here's the video that inspired the blog...
Now here is mine, I'm no Weird Al but here it goes...
Zebra Paradise
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of the shield,
I take a look at my life, and refuse to think to yield,
Cause I've been callin' lingere games for too long,
But now I'm reffin the NFL, so hopefully those days are gone,
But I ain't never made a bad call to those who didn't deserve it,
I ain't no worse than Hoculee, I know he ain't perfect.
You will even keep watching, even with all my botching,
So you and your homies keep up your talk.
I really hate to trip but I gotta say,
We never croak, Golden caught the ball through the smoke fool.
I'm the kinda ref no little homies wanna be like,
Fans on they knees in the day saying prayers that we go away.
Been spending 3 weeks of our lives livin' in a Zebra Paradise,
Can't get a single call right, livin' in a Zebra Paradise,
Giving more challenges every night, living in a Zebra Paradise,
We see nothing, we have no sight, living in a Zebra Paradise,
Look at the situation the got me facin'
I can't live a normal life, every fan hates me,
so I gotta be down with my replacement team,
Too much fightin' on the field makes me wanna scream,
I went to referee training and filled my mind,
Got a zero on my test and a tear in my eye,
But I keep on reffining, cuz I'm a fu*king gangster,
And my homies back my calls so we ain't gonna change em', fool
Real refs ain't nothing but a heart beat away,
I'm enjoying my 15 minutes, do or die, what can I say?
I reffed the first 3 weeks, but will I be around for week 4?
The way things is going, I don't know.
Tell me why are we so blind to see,
That the ones we blew made your team 0 and 3?
Been spending 3 weeks of our lives living in a Zebra Paradise,
We are hated by players from Brees to Rice, living in a Zebra Paradise,
We piss off everyone, including our wives, living in a Zebra Paradise,
Goodell is the only reason we survive, living in a Zebra Paradise.
Power and the money, Roger's got all the power,
waiting on the lockout to end, hour after hour,
Everybody's hatin, but no one stops their watching,
NFL ratings are higher than ever, cuz they wanna see our sucking,
They say I gotta learn, but the real refs won't come teach me,
If they can't be nice and do it, how much better can I be?
I guess they can't, I guess they won't
I guess they front, that's why I know my time will be short lived, fool
Been spending 3 weeks of our lives living in a Zebra Paradise,
What are we gonna call? That's the roll of a dice, living in a Zebra Paradise,
We aren't very good, we as blind as mice, living in a Zebra Paradise,
We make the most religious fan scream Jesus Christ, living in a Zebra Paradise.
I know I've covered this before on my blogs, but I must say this, the way cops do things just baffles me. It's sad that I am a law abiding citizen and I hate the police. That shouldn't be the way it works. I am supposed to like them. I am supposed to see them as a protector. I am supposed to trust them to keep those who are doing wrong off the streets. The cops do the exact opposite. They punish those who obey the law and let those who do not off Scott-Free. They pulled me over again. I now must go to court for going 38 in a 25 school zone. I will go and I will pay for the court costs because I follow the rules and the government knows that. As many of you know, I have been on driving probation. I have never been pulled over for a DUI. I have never been in a car accident when it is my own fault yet my licence was on probation because I didn't go to some bull crap class that everyone there doesn't want to be there and hardly listens. I am a safe driver. That's a fact. You can ask anyone who rides with me how many risks I take. I very rarely do take a turn when there's a car within 50 feet. Yet I have been on probation for speeding. I know people who have been pulled over 10 times with no tickets. I have been pulled over 6 times with 5 tickets. I guess I rub cops the wrong way. I am nice. I refer to them as sir. I do everything you are supposed to do yet I receive a ticket. In the mean time, some people I know have done way worse on the road and receive a slap on the wrist. I just think the system is messed up. Now I will be going to court to get some ridiculous fine. I just can't stand it. I feel like I'm being bullied. That's all.
I have the right to vote. I voted in every single presidential election and most other elections since I turned 18 and was eligible to vote. That means I voted in 2004 and 2008. I am registered republican, but many of my views are not conservative or liberal they are kind of in the middle. I used to be really into politics, but lately all they do is make me sick. Nothing ever gets done because frankly both sides refuse to budge. Nothing ever gets passed and the economy goes down, gas prices go up, and the morale of this country in general goes down. That's the problem with people. They are all talk and never listen. Your ears are your most powerful tool. They will never get you in trouble you know. They help you to gather information and learn unlike the mouth which if you are always preaching how can you learn. If people just listened to each other, problems would get solved. People need to be nicer, also. I am considered in many circles to be a nice person, which is scary because I feel like I'm mean often. It scares me because if I am considered nice, how mean is everyone else? Everyone seems to have road rage all the time. Even when they aren't in a car if that makes any sense. I got cut off twice yesterday with people merging into my lane after the cut this massive line, but I let them go. Some may ask, "Why didn't you get all up on their bumper and honk and scream?" Well that just isn't me. I believe in paying it forward, not so much karma. I am not very superstitious, but I believe in paying it forward, like the movie. Do something nice for someone else and they hopefully will pay it forward to someone else. I also believe everything happens for a reason. I don't understand why our country is put in the hands of the dirtiest people in the United States but there is reason I guess. Whether you are republican or democrat, independent or libertarian, I don't care. Politicians do not look out for you. They look out for their own gain. They throw everyone they can under the bus so they can achieve office. A lot of the times they use that power to trick some girl into sleeping with them, but that's neither here nor there, hence the plot of The Ides of March.
Politics are so nasty and hateful, and politicians are on the ball of everything, my plan this and his plan that, but they forget about two things: actually doing anything about it and most importantly you. The government as so poetically stated in Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, is "of the people, by the people, and for the people. Lately it's been of Barack Obama, by Mitt Romney, and screw the people. I am not anti-government. I am just anti-politicians. Winning president does not mean do in 4 years something people remember so you get 4 more years. How about doing something because you lead this great country of ours? I know throughout history, no power has ever survived. Egypt crumbled, Rome was defeated, England lost to us, and the U.S.A. will not be on top forever. With that being said, with the right leaders we can be for some time, but where they come from is a tough question. Obama isn't the answer, but neither is Romney. After this election, I don't see a bright future for our country. I see republicans fighting with democrats, and the stalemate will continue and to quote Lady Gaga, the only victims will be, "You and I." Who will I vote for? Who cares?
Winner of the Day: Jesus. After Touchdown Jesus was destroyed in a storm up in Monroe, Ohio, a new structure was put in his place. Cincinnati.com article here.
Loser of the Day: Jesus' wife. Yes a Massachusetts professor is claiming Jesus cited having a wife in an ancient script. She loses because if she existed, Jesus obviously didn't give her enough attention to be noticed for 2,000 years. The Story.
Quote of the Day: "Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want." - Jim Rohn
Summer is finally coming to an end. I usually consider summer being Memorial Day to Labor Day, with the much over-rated WEBN Fireworks being the grand finale for this city (You can read my thoughts on the fireworks from a blog I wrote in September of 2011 here: http://davidbrooks1985.blogspot.com/2011/09/webn-fireworks-suck-bra-thieves-and.html). Gosh does summer seem like the longest season there is? I am a male; I love cooler weather. Fall could be my favorite season. I'm going to refer to fall as autumn for the rest of this blog just because it sounds cooler. Anyways back to summer. Do the seasons take the feel of the sport that is played in them? Look at baseball. It's such a slow paced game. Each 9 inning game seems like it is a marathon, much like a summer day. It seems like 45 hours are in each day in the summer. Sure you have plenty of things to fit into the long day from grillouts to swimming to vacations to hiking (well I hear some people do such things; not my thing but if you do it in the summer more power to you). The day is still long. The sun beams down on you all day. Each drip of sweat is replaced by another. I know that you look forward to summer as a kid, but not so much when you have a job. It kind of sucks wearing pants and a collared shirt out in 100 degree weather and let's not even bring up Cincinnati's humidity. Anyway, I'm happy the season of outdoor concerts, beer, Nascar, and baseball season ends. As you know I'm as big of a baseball fan as anyone. I actually watch as many games as possible or at least listen to them. Most people think I'm crazy for watching so much of a boring sport, but I'm old school and I like it. With that being said, a season of 162 games is grueling and long and by the end of the summer you are just ready for it to be over. The best baseball is played in autumn anyway. The Reds are on the verge of making it to the playoffs for the second time in two years.
They have a legitimate shot at the World Series which I'm excited about. The last time the Reds won the World Series was 1990 when I was starting kindergarten and Chris Sabo was patrolling 3rd base. I will be rooting for them throughout these playoffs when most seasons I sit and watch the Reds hoping they stay competitive until football season came along so I don't get bored. Now the Reds are going good and they are going to be playing in autumn, a much better season than the blistering heat that is summer. I used to say when I owned a house, I just wanted a room designed like a beer cave, but not for beer; just for me to cool off when I am sweating bullets after destroying everyone in sand volleyball which I only like to do at night even though the humidity is still high but the sun isn't slicing through the particles in my t-shirt which I love going up to NKU playing volleyball when all these built dudes think they're going to destroy us (I know this is a long run on sentence) and then they go and play us and we put them in their place. I do play during the day in leagues, which my team took home the first place trophy for the third time in five years this year. Shout out to them. I named our team Back on Top before the season as a risky cocky play, and as it turned out we cut down the nets.
Back to what I was trying to write about, autumn. Autumn is the season that comes with a smell. It has this smell in the breeze that takes you back to cow bells and high school football games. You smell turkey and dressing, pumpkins being carved, leaves being burned and polish on the gym floor of your favorite basketball team. You go to Bengals tailgates and complain how the team will never be good without having someone other than Mike Brown calling the shots. You watch your favorite basketball team take the court for the first time in Midnight Madness which isn't midnight anymore which is kind of like calling the Big10, "The Big10" with having 12 teams, but whatever. You get to dress up once a year and be whatever you want in autumn which is an awesome concept. I mean for one day, I was William Wallace.
Autumn is a time of cool weather, with a rough neck sport carrying you through most of the season. Autumn is a time to gather around a campfire, more so than in the summer time. It is a time to be thankful for what you have and go out and be a complete hypocrite and buy a whole bunch of complete crap the next day. Gosh I feel like with the way I'm writing today, there should be some awesome like classical music playing in your head while you read. If you made it this far you are a trooper. Anyway, I'm happy autumn is here. Winner of the Day: Summer, because it beat the living daylights out of me every day since Memorial Day.
Loser of the Day: Anyone who loves the McRib. If you didn't hear McDonald's delayed the McRib's release until December. I'm sorry for all of you fans of this gross sandwich.
Quote of the Day: "Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower."-Albert Camus Song of the Day: You've Got A Friend by James Taylor
Hey everyone. I know it's been a while since I checked in with this blog thing. It's not like I disappeared. Most of my readers I get from Facebook anyway and I chime in there or on Twitter from time to time with quirky jokes or something I think is funny, but I can't fully be myself in 140 characters or less so I thought I'd write a blog to get you all caught up on what's been going on. Since I last wrote I moved into my own place. I am living solo for the first time ever, which is different. I usually have something to do but not every night. Alright writing about myself is pretty boring. I will say that I've been trying to live as 90's as possible. The music was so much better in that era you know. From gangsta rap to the beginnings of grunge to the Latin invasion and boy bands of the late 90's; almost all of the music is better than this Lady Gaga Glee stuff there is now. The rappers just repeat everything over and over again. They don't tell a story which is all they did back in the day. I mean has Drake or whoever else is big now ever heard A Tribe Called Quest album?
The Low End Theory, A Tribe Called Quest
#154 best album of all time according to Rolling Stone Magazine
They don't even know what rap is. I'm no expert and I know the 90's had groups like Kriss-Kross and feel good songs like Jump, but the feel good music now comes from LMFAO and The Black Eyed Peas. That's crap. Music has lost it's soul in this new millennium. I don't want Nicki Minaj up in my ears. Give me Lil Kim or Lauryn Hill. In 1990, I was 5 years old with my whole life ahead of me. I grew up in the 90's and had some of the best times of my life, bicycling all over Dayton. I would hunt for snakes and go fishing at Belmont Lake. I loved the Ninja Turtles and later the Power Rangers. My family really liked country music during this time, so I grew up listening to Dwight Yoakam, Garth Brooks, Alabama, and Sawyer Brown. My other roots came from exploring on my own. As most of you know I love writing poetry. No I'm no helpless romantic Fabio looking guy trying to romance women by writing a few sweet lines.
My poetry is me. It's hard to explain unless you've ever gotten a poem from me, but they are serious with funny one liners here and there. This stuff I'm blabbing about, well not blabbing, actually typing about, has nothing to do with my original point which is I love poetry. I really enjoy narrative poems. I think this is what got me into rap music. Back in the 90's most rap music told a story, like many rock and roll songs did as well. Nowadays, rappers just say f*ck this and b*tch that. Their rhymes have no substance. Sure the pioneers of rap music cussed now and then but it wasn't just to say the words. It was to emphasize what they were spitting about. Rappers nowadays are a dime a dozen, but there are few MC's anymore. Anybody can rhyme cat and hat and be a rapper, but an MC puts on a show. They make the audience feel. They run the show with talent and skill and now I'm getting off track again. I'm trying to write about 90's music influences and I keep slipping into these webs I can go off on and I have commentary on but let's get back to what I'm meaning to speak on. How is this even about music anyway? Is this blog about music, or everything 90's? The alternative rock genre also took off in the 90's. It seems like every hit came out of this genre. R&B also took off in the 90's but never gets as much attention on any throwback stations. If you ever turn on Pandora, you'll hear Smells Like Teen Spirit or Runaround, when playing a 90's station, but how often do you hear Lately by Divine or I Don't Have the Heart by James Ingram? Until recently I never really got into the R&B hits of the 90's but once my ears were turned to these songs I really believe this genre is underrated in the whole scheme of 90's music. There are a lot of cliche songs from the 90's. I mean who doesn't know the words to Gangsta's Paradise, I Swear, or Iris? Cliche or not, all of the songs had substance that today's music seems to lack.
Winner of the Day: Anybody who goes by 3 names. I realized most of them are awesome. This is in honor of a great loss we had. We recently lost Michael Clarke Duncan. I heard that if you knew his full name when he was out, he'd give you a $5 bill on the spot. Other great three named people include James Earl Jones (Mufassa and Darth Vader voice) and Billy Bob Thornton. Loser of the Day: Replacement Referees in the NFL. They can't catch a break. Without them, there would be no football. With them, the calls are horrendous and the games are getting as long as baseball. Let's get a contract and get the real refs back out there. Quote of the Day: "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." -Aesop Song of the Day: I Don't Have the Heart by James Ingrim
Thought of the Day: Be yourself. Never change who you are for anyone else.
