Relationship Advice Column Edition 4, WHAT IS LOVE?

Today is relationship advice day so what better to write about than the one ingredient every relationship needs.  Sure relationships need trust and honesty and faithfullness and all of that but they all float under one banner, LOVE.  Remember Haddaway?  In 1993 he had a hit song called, "What is Love" and people before and after him have been asking the same question.  So what is love?  Webster's defines love as  especially, devoted attachment to, or tender or passionate affection for, one of the opposite sex.  Well that and a score of a "0" in tennis.  But anyway love means more than a book of definitions can give us.  What does love mean?  According to the 1970 classic, A Love Story, "Love means never having to say you're sorry."  I'm not quite sure that's it either.  Ruben Studdard would have beef with that definition. Love in all honesty means something different to each and every one of us.  I asked female friends of mine yesterday to answer and in the paragraph breaks I will list their answers for you.  All are very well thought out, and all different and unique to the person.


Love - is when you can look at that one person and everything around you becomes still and at the one moment you can vision yourself being with that one person for the rest of your life.-Mallory Reynolds


It's knowing everything, good and bad, about a person and still find yourself wanting to be with them every minute.-Elizabeth Baker


Love is being able to care for someone unconditionally-Taylor McIntyre

I guess I would say a feeling or emotion that people feel involving deep caring, affection and respect for another person, whether it is romantic or familial love.-Chelsea Fischer

Love is looking at someone and not being afraid of what the future holds, as long as they are by your side.-Dawnisha Woods

Love is when someone is more important to you than yourself, and you know you're a better person for it.-Megan Greis

I limited the ladies to one sentence but it would make a boring blog if I only went with one sentence so here is my take on love... Love makes you do crazy things.  Love is blind.  Love is when your significant other walks into a room of crowded people and everyone else becomes a blur.  Love is when you smile just thinking of her (I will use her but feel free to substitute him).  Love, as Catherine Kessen says is, "when you get butterfliles for absolutely no reason at all." Love makes you throw all of the rules out of the window.  Love makes your heart pound just because.  Love will make you turn your back on your best friend if he puts her down. Yes,a Percy Sledge quote.  Love will be your best friend when you need it to.  Love isn't always easy, but it's working through the hard times.  Love conquers all.  It's your sun on a rainy day; your storm in the middle of a drought.  It is the perfect line in a poem and staying up all night just because you can't get enough of her.  You miss her as soon as you leave and you are whipped but you don't care.  It doesn't matter what your friends say.  Love is a verb and a noun, but love is much more.

Since I am getting married I have had to go through a bunch of readings and I am sick of the cliché crap about love being patient and kind.  While love should be those things sometimes it isn’t all of the time Love is hard work love is having commitment Love is being willing to compromise. Love is being able to share.  Love is having trust. Love isn’t a joke.  Being in love is serious.-Stacie Daines (She broke the one sentence rule but that's okay).

Love is loving someone inspite of their flaws.-Ashley Watson

Love is simply a misconception of lust.-Anonymous

I see love as indefinable really... No love ever feels the same, some love is stronger than others, and it is a definitive part of what we are and what we become-Shanel Samuel


Trusting someone completely and feeling like there is nothing else that matters when you're with them. Sense of happiness and completion (?). When you get butterfliles for absolutely no reason at all, and not needing to know why you love them, just that you do.-Cat Kessen


Finding someone who is worth the risk of ultimate heartache but knowing somewhere deep down inside that they would never hurt you, trusting that faith and fate have dealt you the right cards is harder than you think.-Kate Dawes

When it comes down to it, love is living your life not for me, but for we.  It is doing something different each day just to see her smile again.  It is trusting someone with all of your heart and forgiveness when she makes a mistake.  It's someone who gets every joke you tell. It's  when everything makes sense to her even when it doesn't to anyone else.  It's the feeling you get today, that gets even stronger tomorrow.  It is an old man and an old woman rocking together on the front porch.  It's the high school sweetheart that you grow up to marry.  It is the first slow dance.  It's eating burnt dinners just to see her smile.  It's being honest and loyal and giving your whole heart.  It is believing in something greater than you but also being fully committed.  It is making her cry about what you say in a card.  It's picking wild flowers because you thought of her when you saw them.  It's care.  It's compassion.  It's believing.  It is true.  It is a journey.  It's thinking of her before you go to sleep and the first thing you think of when you wake up.  It is puppy love but also get through the rough times love.  It's overcoming speed bumps but seeing the sparkle in her eye the whole way through.  It makes your day everyday.  Love is love.  Nothing else matters.  I know I didn't answer all of your questions about love but in order for a relationship to work, you need love so I defined it in the best way that I could.  When you date someone, you may grow to love them, but you will know when you do.  It is an indescribable feeling.  I know I put a lot of words on this screen but none of them truly explain the feeling of love.  The term love is overused, however I can tell when someone truly means it.  So keep your heart open.  It will strike you when you least expect it.  I want to thank all of you ladies who wrote in. So what is love?  Go out there and find out.  It is the best feeling in the world. I will leave you with my favorite love song and a comic that may make you chuckle....

Song of the Day: Your Song by Elton John

Comic of the day:

Relationship Advice Edition 3, Lynrd Skynrd, Dave & Busters, and Full Moons

I know it's Relationship Advice day but I must first apologize for the crappy mood I've been in as I wrote the past few days.  If you know me, you know that isn't me and it's not fair to me or anyone else if I stay that way.  I'm here for a reason and that's to touch every single person that is in my life.  Not like creepy molestation touch but like make you feel something good inside touch, yeah it still didn't come out right but you know what I mean. Some of you I will get to know more than others.  Some of you I may barely know at all, but the fact of the matter is I will be here for every single one of you even if it is waiting over an hour for a check at Dave & Busters for my friend Robert which I did last night, but reminiscing on old times was worth it.  It brought my morale way up and made me realize I have to stop sweating and get back on my feet.  I am back to being myself; I promise people.  I want to thank those of you who voiced their concern for me and helped to lift me up and make me smile.  I needed those.  So I saw on the bus today going to work, something very disturbing.  This middle aged Latino dude with a thick mustache and hair, not Mexican, was wearing this sportsy polo.  I didn't think much of him.  He wore a creepy smile the whole ride.  As he got up, and walked out, his entire butt was showing.  Absolutely gross.  He made zero attempt to pull his pants up.  Someone had to sit in the seat he was just in too.  He walked so his pants didn't fall down more, 'butt' what is the point?  Back to Dave & Busters: I will never go there again.  The service was terrible.  They took forever not only taking our orders but also giving us our check.  We got there at 7:00 and didn't get finished until after 9:00 and all they gave us was some free game cards, which I wasted on a pirate Price is Right style spinning game.  I got enough tickets to get a shot class though so all is good in the world.


Now to relationships...


First I have an update from the blog I wrote two weeks ago.  The issue was titled, Baby Mama Drama, which you can read about here.  She began snooping which is justified in the situation considering all that was going on.  Every night after the reader went to sleep, the boyfriend began texting his ex and flirting and whatnot.  She kicked him to the curb.


Now for the advice of the day: 


If it looks like the other person isn't into you as much as you are into them, they probably aren't.  It has nothing to do with game playing.  You can just read it.  


Don't show all of your cards too early.  It is good to be honest and upfront with someone, but don't put all of your eggs in one basket until they hatch.  


Follow your heart when it comes to relationships, but please don't ignore your head.  There will be times when your head and heart conflict with each other about someone.  People sometimes, myself included, will ignore all of the advice they'd give to themselves and all of the warning signals.  That is okay if someone is important enough, but reason with your mind, it may just be right.


Don't stay angry or upset with the way things turn out.  Life is too short to be miserable.  The sun is still going to come up tomorrow.  Flowers will still bloom in the spring.  Those crazy cicadas are going to come and terrorize Cincinnati every 19 years.  Life will go on and like schools want no child left behind, God doesn't want you to stay behind either.  


TO THE GUYS: Please be a gentleman.  Be a throwback.  These ladies deserve to be treated like princesses.  Don't just hold the door for the chick, even though you should.  Go deeper than that (I know, that's what she said).  Make their day every day.  Do something special every day.  It will not only put a smile on her face but it will make you happier too.  Who cares what any of your homies will think?  I mean love is the greatest gift God gave us.  Nothing else matters.  Treat your lady like you love her.  


TO THE LADIES: Don't date someone because they look good standing next to you.  Make sure they have a brain.  Make sure they challenge your mind every day and treat you with respect.  Make sure you are attracted but also that they make you smile or make you forget that anything else in this world is going on.    Money isn't everything.  Looks aren't everything.  Lifestyle isn't everything.  Romeo & Juliet, Shallow Hal, Beauty and the Beast show that life isn't always about what everyone else will think of you.  It is what is inside that truly matters.  


TO EVERYONE: A relationship will only work if both sides are fully committed and their hearts and minds are with no one else.  If it seems like that isn't the case, things will fizzle and you move on.  There could be a spark in the future with that person or maybe not either way life goes on.  


Winner of the day: Tristan Neal (Sarcasm).  This dude was arrested after he assaulted his girlfriend after fighting over his refusal to change his facebook from "single" to "in a relationship."  The article is titled, "It's Complicated" which humors me, but why are we calling the girl his girlfriend in the story?  Obviously he didn't think it was or at least didn't care to share it with anyone.The Link


Loser of the Day: Ohio.  They approved a law allowing concealed weapons in bars.  I believe in the right to bear arms but I'm not sure alcohol and weapons mix.  Just ask Plaxico Burress. The Link.


QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Sometimes I lay under the moon and thank God I'm breathing, then I pray don't take me soon cause I am here for a reason. Sometimes in my tears I drown but I never let it get me down, so when negativity surrounds I know some day it'll all turn around"-Matisyahu


Song of the Day: Free Bird by Lynrd Skynrd

Truth of the Day: