Close Calls: Dennis Rodman, 50 Cent, O.J. Simpson (I was actually too scared to even put him on the actual list because I'm fairly certain he'd murder me hire someone like Johnny Cochren [can't hire him though; he's dead] get away with it, write a book about it, get memorabilia stolen, then take things into his own hands with guns and find a way to murder me again while I'm already dead), Hulk Hogan, Britney Spears
5. Richard Simmons. Yeah the Sweating to the Oldies guy. Not only does this guy look scary, but he is also a creeper. Antoine Dodson would tell you to hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband if he came around. I'm fairly certain he wouldn't take no for an answer.
4. Mel Gibson. We've all heard how insane he is and the guy can go on murderous rampages when he is passionate about something. Haven't you seen Braveheart? He's a guy that can rip your face off and then insult you the whole time while he's doing it.
3. Mike Tyson. This especially applies to women. The dude doesn't care. If he doesn't like you he will in fact, knock you out. He's a loose cannon like the above celeb, but this guy has a body that will knock you out in one punch. Could you imagine thaying thomthing to mike tython that pithed him off? Yeah you're dead.
2. Suge Knight. Yeah in a previous blog I mentioned how he held Vanilla Ice over a balcony to make him sign over the rights to Ice Ice Baby, but trouble follows this guy. If he doesn't like you he will hurt you or hire someone to. I could see myself chilling with Suge and some homies from Death Row Records, and saying that Bad Boy Records was better. I'm fairly certain I'd get a shotgun fired right at my balls. And huge African-American guys are always scary anyway.
1. Serena Williams. Any girl that has arms bigger than me is scary. She could definitely beat me up. I could see us out together and she thought it was a date. "Get me a drink," she'd say. I'd be like, "Right away ma'am" and dart to the bar with my tail tucked between my legs. No people I don't really have a tail but if I did it would be tucked between my legs. Her voice sounds like that of a birth child of Satan and Randy Savage. And when she wears her tennis gear and you see those massive thighs that make a cow jealous, how do you not fear for your life if you are an opponent?
I have a little bit to say about this Marcus Isreal trial. The kid killed a cop 6 months ago while trying to evade police. That is a fact. He was on trial for whether it was murder or manslaughter. It is NEVER okay to kill a cop so don't get the right idea for this although most cops hate me for some reason and I'm a law abiding citizen. 4 tickets in 5 times being pulled over and my mom's been pulled over like 9 times with no tickets? Something's not right there. Anyway, I actually feel bad for the Marcus dude. He didn't get a fair trial in my opinion. There is no evidence to prove whether he ran into the cop on purpose. Also, his jury was all white. Marcus is black. The jury listened to a bunch of sob stories about the cop and stuff and didn't even pay attention to the defense. Marcus had no chance to prove it was manslaughter because the jury had already made up their minds. The jury deliberated for all of 5 minutes. How do you fairly put someone in jail for 25 years to life after talking to each other for five minutes. Go over the evidence or something. I mean how did he even have a chance? I don't like when the race card is played but this guy isn't getting a fair shake. Ryan Widmer gets a bunch of chances. This guy gets five minutes from an all white jury. Not fair in my opinion. If I was on the jury I would've been like Henry Fonda holding everyone up in 12 Angry Men. The guy killed a cop. He should be in jail, but all I ask for is a fair trial. Marcus Israel Stuff from Fox 19.
Winner of the Day: America (at least those of you who watch Dancing with the Stars). Chaz Bono was eliminated last night, and watching him/her is weird. I am all about be what you want to be and I don't judge but it's just something about that thing. It's hard to watch it moving around the stage. I don't even watch the show but it's apparently such big news it is on the show that it's all over commercials and talk shows or what have you.
Loser of the Day: Terrell Owens. He had a workout inviting all teams to come watch him, kind of like a pro day. The ex-Bengal had all of 0 teams show up. Maybe if you didn't burn so many bridges over your career someone would be there because you can actually play.
Quote of the Day: "Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be."-John Wooden
Song of the Day: Waitin' on a Woman by Brad Paisley
Terrible tabloid photo of the Day: Tyra Banks
First off, Richard Simmons is the man. Mike Tyson is actually a gentle giant, did you know he takes care of pigeons? Look it up, he had a show about it. That Brad paisley song is awesome. I don't agree with sex change or anything like that but its not my place to judge. I think he?? is a great person, just confused. But those judges were very mean to him. Last of all, what's wrong with the tyra picture? I think she looks fine. Not fine like damn she finneeeee but fine like she looks normal.
ReplyDelete