The Brainey's (The Winners and Losers of 2011)

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, or if you don't believe in celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, I hope you had a merry December 25th anyway.  I apologize for not writing yesterday.  Here I am today though and today will be the the Brainey's, which are the blog awards of the year.  Here we go....


Winner of the Year: Charlie Sheen.  He made "winning" a catch phrase this year during his insane meltdown.  He did a lot of crazy things in this calender year, and he wins because he says it himself, he's winning.  The guy lost his job as the highest paid television actor and did that stop him?  No.  The whole nation was captivated for about two weeks on what was Charlie going to do next.

Loser of the Year: Evil Dictators.  We lost Osama Bin Laden (allegedly), Moammar Kaddafi, and Kim Jong Il this year.  These were three thorns in America's side, especially Osama.  It still confuses me that we would just randomly kill him when Obama was slipping in the polls, but at least he's dead.  The guy was number one on America's Most Wanted list and it was long overdue after what happened on 9-11-01.  Kaddafi was killed as well and Il became ill with a heart attack.  It wasn't a good year to be an evil dictator.

Quote of the Year: "I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple's CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come."-Steve Jobs in his resignation letter to Apple employees.


Movie of the Year: Rise of the Planet of the Apes.  Now before you get mad at me, realize that I can only give this award to a movie I've seen.  I plan on watching Ides of March, Moneyball, X Men: First Class, Captain America, and Thor, but I haven't gotten a chance to see them yet.  This was a slow year in movies.  Nothing really attracted me to go to a theater.  I did see this movie in theaters and was actually impressed with a lot of the movie even though the special effects were pretty cheesey.

Worst Movie of the Year: Never Say Never.  I have not seen it but even the Bieber fans said the movie was terrible.  It is a documentary about the Canadian's life.  It fails to document the fiasco he had being accused of impregnating a chick in the bathroom which turned out to be false.  I am a fan of documentaries but I'd rather watch a Harry Potter marathon than watch this movie.

Comedy of the Year:  This was a toss-up between 3 2.5 out of 5 star movies in my opinion.  Horrible Bosses, Bridesmaids, and the winner.... Friends with Benefits.  Horrible Bosses was okay.  I mean I laughed out loud a few times but not often.  Bridesmaids dragged for long stretches, but the bathroom scene had me dying.  Friends with Benefits wins, maybe because of Mila Kunis being in it, or maybe because Justin Timberlake actually didn't ruin the movie like I expected.  It came out shortly after No Strings Attached and they seemed like two of the same movies.  This one shined was gold compared to No Strings Attached.

Song of the Year: Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO. How did these two losers ever get popular?  You can't go anywhere without hearing this song and I am guilty of dancing to it a few times.  It gets stuck in your head and now hamsters are rocking out to it.

Baby of the Year: Carson Palmer.  Who else?  The guy whined and whined his way out of Cincinnati.  He refused to ever play a down for him and Mike Brown held his ground and refused to trade him until the right deal came along.  The golden boy got his wish.

Most overused word of the year: Lockout.  The NBA and NFL were both in lockouts and the term was heard almost everyday this year on Sportscenter.  

Story of the year: Jerry Sandusky and Penn State.  The guy tarnished the image of Joe Paterno and the University when it was found out that Sandusky had been molesting boys and it was covered up by the administration.  Everyone lost their jobs.

Trial of the Year: Is it Casey Anthony or Michael Jackson's Doctor?  I'm going with Casey Anthony.  For some reason, the whole country was drawn into it.  The woman was found not guilty of killing her daughter.  I know this isn't the popular opinion but I agree with the ruling because that is what our justice system states, "guilty beyond reasonable doubt."  There was doubt she did it.  No one could absolutely prove it.  Do I think she did it?  It doesn't matter but yes I believe she killed the poor kid, but she should've been found not guilty.

Upset of the Year: The Blackout over the Red Team.  This is a personal one for me.  In March, my high school had an alumni tournament.  Last January, I decided to put a team together but not many people were left.  I would've joined another team, but I was deemed not good enough.  Stuart Watton and I were they only people on the team.  We then picked up stragglers.  Jimmy Scott was kicked off his team for having too many players.  We picked up Justin Caudill who is a ginger, but I overlooked it and Doug McIntosh, the older cooler brother of Brad McIntosh.  We landed Ricky Buckler, Bruno Beriopgjipgjeroitgjliouf and Ben Parr.  The team was not expected to win a game.  We called ourselves The Blackout.  We got whipped by 30 in our first game, and we faced the high flying red team in the second.  Everything clicked.  The team with the least amount of actual basketball experience knocked off a team that included Derek Bryan, Hunter Jones, Kurt Jansen and others.

Sports Play of the Year: Jerome Simpson.  Happened just last week and I'm not a prisoner of the moment.  This play was crazy.  How did he stick the landing like he's Kerri Strug or something?  He had trouble with the law this year involving 7 pounds of marijuana, but he definitely got "high" on this play.

Surprise of the Year:  I have got to give this to the Bengals as well.  Many were expecting them to win at most 2 games, and on the first day of 2012, have a chance to make the playoffs.  I'm proud of them. 

Most over-talked about story of the Year: Gabrielle Giffords.  Okay I get that she was shot in the head and it was a big deal, but the constant updating of her state every night, on entertainment and news shows was ridiculous.  Her husband is a NASA astronaut...How cute?  They needed privacy, not cameras in their faces all the time.

Marriage of the year: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.  Because it fit within the year.

Could Care Less Wedding of the Year: Prince William and Kate.  Way too much coverage.  We aren't under British rule anymore.  Why is the media covering this like us Americans care?

Fake Retirement of the Year: Oprah Winfrey.  She left her show, okay goodbye Oprah we'll miss you....oahp never mind she has an entire network now.

Arnold Moment of the Year: when it was revealed he had a love child.  He's still the man.

Athlete of the Year: Aaron Rodgers.  The guy lead the Packers to the Superbowl and is about to win the MVP for this season.

WNBA Moment of the Year:  Just kidding. I got ya.


Deaths of the Year:  We lost a lot of amazing people this year.  You can see an entire list here but I want to spotlight a few:


Patrice O'Neal: My Diabetic com padre that lost his life too soon at age 41.  I wrote my own obituary to him, follow the link if you haven't read it... Patrice O'Neal---his battle with diabetes and what it means to me. 

Steve Jobs: If it wasn't for him, none of you would be jamming to ipods, surfing your ipads, or know what an app is on your iphones.  The guy was important to the technological advancement in this country.

Randy Savage: This was sad because he died from a car accident.  He will be linked with a bunch of wrestlers who died prematurely due to drug use which is a shame.  He was one of my favorites.  He was a member of the NwO, and he had that awesome flying elbow.  He also had a rap cd which is amazing, and a role in the hit movie, Spiderman.

Robert Traylor: Known as the Tractor.  This guy was a lot of hype coming out of Michigan, once traded for Dirk, who won the NBA title in 2011.  He died too soon.

Nate Dogg: He was brought up in West Coast rapping, as a childhood friend of Snoop Dogg.  He was known for his unique voice.

Elizabeth Taylor: Yeah, I don't really have much to say on her, except she was a princess of Hollywood and was known for her style and beauty and marriages.

Amy Winehouse: She was an amazing singer.  She was misunderstood a lot of the time and had a drug problem but she had talent.  She had a throwback voice.

Carl Lindner:  I wrote my own obituary for Carl, who was my boss for a short period of time, but what he did for this city, means a lot to me and he will not be forgotten. Carl Lindner, a kid for a car, bullies, and The Colossus of Rhodes

Joe Frazier: If he had boxed in any other time period, he would have been considered the greatest of his era; he just happened to box during the time of Ali.  Every superstar needs a rival and Frazier was Ali's. I wrote an obituary on Joe as well... Go Vote, Joe Frazier dies, and Top 5 boxing movies (Rocky not included)

Heavy D:  He was a hip-hop legend and his style was fun and upbeat.  He was even referenced by the great Notorious BIG in Juicy.  The guy could flow with the best of them.

Andy Rooney: Andy was someone who I always liked because at the end of 60 Minutes, he would talk like I blogged.  Some people didn't get him, but enough people did.  I wrote about Heavy D and Andy Rooney in this blog: Horrible News Stories, Deaths come in Threes, and a Real Life Ringer Story

Here are a few people I lost this year that were near and dear to my heart:


Florence "Grandma Flo" Brooks: My paternal grandmother; she had memory loss for years and she finally joined her husband who she lost in 1996 in Heaven.  She was a very religious person and cared about everyone in her life.  She had 13 children which is a feat in itself.  I will miss you Grandma.

Ron Losey: He was my neighbor but much more than that.  He was a grandfatherly figure to my family and he treated us as if we were his own blood.  I wrote about him here: Heaven landed a Hell of a Man Last Night

Mary Lou Ponchot: My high school Algebra and Geometry teacher.  She really was a positive influence on me and she will be greatly missed by the Bellevue community. Read my thoughts on her passing here. Rest in Peace, Mrs. Ponchot

So overall, 2011 was an average year.  I refuse to write about the protests because I don't even care and I hate that the Cardinals won the World Series, so no awards for them... I recapped my own 2011 in a blog last week, which if you missed you can read here... My year in meeting new People, Ohio Drivers, Getting my licence, & Kim Jong-il . I started writing these blogs in August and I love doing it and I hope you all enjoy reading them.  I hope that you continue to in 2012.  My Top 10 most popular blogs of 2011 are listed below, according to statistics compiled by blogspot.  I hope you all enjoyed the first annual Brainey's, a spinoff of the old Myspace Diesel of the Year Awards.


10. Things I'd Rather do than Watch A Harry Potter Marathon + Merry Christmas
9. Penn State did the Right Thing
8. What should I Write About? ---this one is the deepest blog I've written
7. Relationship Advice Column Edition 4, WHAT IS LOVE?
6. Is There A God?, Justin Bieber is apparently a dad, Tubby Smith, and Ochocinco
5. Relationship Advice Column Edition 6: Game Playing, Top 5 Romantic Comedies and A Crazy Facebook Story
4. Relationship Advice Column, Top 5 Gingers, Schweddy Balls, Fat Guy Sues Whitey's
3. Rest in Peace, Mrs. Ponchot
2. Heaven landed a Hell of a Man Last Night
1. The Pregnancy Story, NKU goes D-1, the Rock & Roll HOF, & Lindsay strips down.

Things I'd Rather do than Watch A Harry Potter Marathon + Merry Christmas

I know Fridays are normally for relationship advice, but things are different today.  Today is Christmas Eve Eve. This is not a politically correct blog.  I was raised at a time when we could celebrate Christmas without getting in trouble so Merry Christmas to all of my readers out there.  With that being said, I do not discriminate if you are Jewish, Buddhist, Scientologist, Atheist or whatever.  Your beliefs are your beliefs and if you want to say Happy Hanukkah, Happy Festivus, Happy Kwanzaa or whatever I'm cool with that.  You have a right to believe or not believe; to celebrate or not to celebrate.  I always felt bad growing up for that one kid in your class who couldn't celebrate because he was a Jehovah's Witness.  It was his parent's beliefs and he had to not take a cupcake when it was someone's birthday and leave the room when exchanging Christmas gifts or Valentine's Day cards.  No matter what religion you are, I don't see how it is a sin to celebrate.  Anyway, Merry Christmas to you all out there.  I'm not going to say Happy Holidays.  I hated when they changed Christmas Ball to Winter Ball, and Christmas Break to Winter Break in school.  I told you recently I am a Republican with a lot of liberal views but this is one where my conservative views come to the forefront.  No disrespect to other religions or those of you who don't believe in God, because I'm truly not trying to disrespect you.  I am merely trying to celebrate the holiday for the religion I am.  I don't think I should be frowned upon to say, have a merry Christmas to someone.  

Now that my Merry Christmas is out of the way, I must state, that today could actually be Jesus' birthday and here I am working on this day.  No one knows exactly when Jesus was born, they just know that it was around this time.  Basically his real birthday could be December 23.  The whole week could be the birth of Christ so make the whole thing a holiday.  I wear Jesus around my neck every day. I could be working through his birthday.  It makes no sense.  At least I'm allowed to wear jeans today.  What's the big excitement about jeans anyway?  Khakis truly don't feel that much different yet everyone gets pumped whenever it is announced it's jeans day.  It's like when you're a kid you are tricked into doing chores because you're lead to believe they are fun.  Jeans are nothing special.  Now if they made sweatpants Fridays I'd be excited for that.

I know this isn't Christmas related but I had to bring this to light.  My sister and my cousin, who shall remain nameless, watched a Harry Potter marathon the other night.  I'm not a reader and I never saw any of the movies besides Harry Potter 2 and one of the times was so I could say I watched it before everyone else (I saw the screening).  I had a 105.1 fever that day and fell asleep halfway through.  The second time I took Stu and Alan to see it and fell asleep again.  I base my liking of Harry Potter on that.  I started thinking, what would I rather do than watch a Harry Potter Marathon?  Here are a few things:

1. Watch Women's Motocross.  This may be the worst "sport" on television but I'd rather watch that than 7,000 hours of Harry Potter movies.

2. Eat a raw onion. I would at least cry unlike watching all of Harry's friends expire in the movies.

3. Date Large Marge from Pee Wee's Big Adventure.  It can't be as bad as it seems.

4. Bring the Phathead Shuffle out of retirement.  If I had to do it to keep me from watching Harry Potter, I'm all in.

5. Spend the day with a ginger.  I know it pains me to say it.

So you get the point.  Basically the only thing I wouldn't rather do is watch a Twilight marathon.


Winner of the Day: Brazilian baby is born healthy with two heads.  They say two is better than one right? Read.

Loser of the Day: Liver.  It's the number one food Olympians are told to avoid.  it could cause them to test positive on a drug screen. Read it.

Quote of the Day: "Christmas gift suggestions: to your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect."-Oren Arnold

Song of the day: The Christmas song by Nat King Cole

Beetle of the Day: The Dung Beetle. 
From http://www.cirrusimage.com/beetles_dung.htm

Dung beetles are those which feed partly or exclusively on feces. Most of these species belong to the subfamilies Scarabaeinae and Aphodiinae of the family Scarabaeidae. As most species of Scarabaeinae feed exclusively on dung, that subfamily is often dubbed true dung beetles. There are dung-feeding beetles which belong to other families, such as the Geotrupidae (the earth-boring dung beetle).

The Scarabaeinae alone comprises more than 5,050 species. Many dung beetles, known as rollers, are noted for rolling dung into spherical balls, which are used as a food source or brooding chambers. Other dung beetles, known as tunnellers, bury the dung wherever they find it. A third group, the dwellers, neither roll nor burrow; they simply live in manure.

I do wish everyone a Happy Holidays, no matter your religion, but Merry Christmas to everyone!  I will not be writing again until Tuesday.  Please be patient.  I promise I will be back!

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,


I'm not asking for much this Christmas. I know in the past you've come through.  I remember when I was five years old you got me a Nintendo which I loved more than anything. I'm not asking for anything tangible this Christmas. I don't know if you are a football fan or not, but I come from Cincinnati, a haven for high school football.  There is a lot of talent around here. Our pro team, however, hasn't been doing so good.  Since 1990, they've only made the playoffs twice: 2005, and 2009.  The 2005 team was an offensive powerhouse with Carson, T.J., Chad, Rudi, and Chris Henry.  The offense carried them all the way to a home playoff game.  On their second offensive play, the Bengals completed a 61 yard pass to Chris Henry.  This was against their rival, the Pittsburgh Steelers.  The stadium was going crazy.  By stadium I mean the people in it.  They were jolly like your old soul is jolly.  Then they saw.  Carson, the 2003 first overall pick, lying helpless on the ground.  He was done (along with Henry), and so were the Bengals' chances of winning.  In 2009, they surprisingly made the playoffs after a tough year.  Chris Henry, died tragically in an accident and the team thrived through the spirit of Chris.  They went 6-0 in the division, but folded in their first round game.  Santa, I'm telling you this because as a lifelong fan I am asking you this, will you let the Bengals win out and have the Jets lose one of their next two?  I don't know if you're like God and if people pray to you, you can help them, but it's silly to ask God for help since he's busy with way more important things.  These are good guys.  They aren't punks like T.J. or showoffs like Chad.  I know the quarterback is a ginger, but he is also very friendly.  He throws the ball to A.J. Green who will be a superstar in this league for years.  He's a down to earth kid who gives his all on every play.  He's not a diva like most receivers.  The defense is filled with awesome Samoans and lunch pail guys.  They're big huge guys like you Santa.  You'd like the Samoans.  They have pig roasts all the time and refuse to cut their hair.  Just give them  a chance to make the playoffs.  They get no fan support.  They can't fill up their stadium.  They are like that kid on the playground that's chosen last.  They are expected to fail.  They were 32 out of 32 in power rankings to start the year.  Now they are fighting for a playoff spot.  Please Santa, help them.


On a more serious note, will you please keep my family and friends healthy.  I don't care what you do to me; I can take it.  Kelly Clarkson says, "God will never give you anything you can't handle." so I'm good.  Just keep everyone else in my life healthy.  The people I surround myself with are good people.  I see good in all of them.  Some of them may have been on the naughty list a time or two but they're still good people.  They mean well.  Just talk to people.  Everyone's the same Santa, you know that.  Not the same as in personalities or looks because that would be ridiculous, but as in everybody wants to be loved.  Just take some time and talk to them.  Everyone from the gothic kids with piercings and trench coats, to the hippies, to the athletes, to the businessmen, to the homeless, to the blue collar, to the white collar, to the poor, to the rich--they all just want to be talked to.  Just listen to them.  Look behind the makeup and the wanting attention, they'll all talk to you on another level.  And give them all what they want if you can.  I know I'm getting off topic, but it's not just about family and friends, Christmas is about everyone.  Give everyone something.  There is evil in this world, but I look at some people like Sour Patch Kids, sour on the outside, but once you chew for a while they get sweet.  Forgiveness is something taught to me in How The Grinch Stole Christmas, and no matter how bad you have to learn how to forgive.  I think I have done that.  I have been the best I could this year, Santa.  I had a roller coaster of a year, from going to the hospital to having no insurance to making new friends and keeping the old.  I've mended as many fences as I could and I tried to help anyone who needed it.  I know every choice I made wasn't the best, but I try and I hope that I can make the good list this year.  If both of these requests aren't possible I understand...I know you are a busy man with the Coca-Cola commercials, and getting through all of those ridiculous TSA checkpoints.  I just appreciate taking the time to read this letter. Merry Christmas Santa.


-David Brooks

Life throws mean curves, Wendy's overtakes the King, and eating cocaine from your brother's butt

"When life throws you a curveball, recognize the spin and swing for the fences."  Something along those lines was my senior quote in Bellevue High School's 2003 yearbook.  I was a mediocre baseball player.  I had the best average on the Freshman team, and my sophomore year I lead the JV team in infield hits somehow in with my blistering speed.

 

My junior year, I still played for junior varsity along with Joe Lay and Stu Watton.

Anyway, I was a pretty good fastball hitter.  I'm not exaggerating.  I really was decent at it.  I could make contact with a ball if I swung at it more often than not.  My strikeout numbers were always pretty low.  I remember one game against Beechwood, we were down 7 going into the last inning.  We were behind in a lot of our games but who's counting?  Anyway, I was up and I vowed to never be the last out of the game.  I had two strikes on me, so all I wanted to do was make contact.  I tipped the next pitch off of this Randy Johnson looking dude, Beechwood called the Big Unit.  It was a soft liner right over the head of the second baseman.  I then preceded to steal second and third.  Somehow that making contact lead us to rally with 2 outs to win the game.  Back to my point.  I'm telling water cooler stories here.  I couldn't hit a curveball for the life of me. I'd foul them off but I could never recognize the spin of one.  It didn't stop me from swinging though.  I swing at anything.  If you've played me in wiffleball you know this.  I'll swing if it's anywhere near. I learned to recognize the spin through practice and I grew into an okay curveball hitter.  Life isn't all fastballs you know.  You never know what's coming.  You have to see the spin of the pitch, and once you do go for it.  Swing as hard as you can.  In life, you should swing away.  You may come up empty, but swing.  You may hit a groundball to the short stop or double in the gap, but at least you gave it a shot.  You aren't one of those guys every announcer hates because you struck out looking you know.  I have struck out looking a few too many times in my past.  That's why I wrote this quote.  I thought life was full of fastballs and sure things.  You are going to get a surprise every now and then.  Just go with it.  

Winner of the Day: Wendy's.  It was announced they are going to be the number 2 burger chain, surpassing Burger King.

Loser of the Day: Deangelo Mitchell.  He was arrested and hiding cocaine in his butt.  He convinced his brother to swallow the cocaine from his butt which then killed his brother.  The headline to the story is classic which you can read here... Man Eats Cocaine From Brother's Butt, Dies.

Quote of the Day: "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."-Abraham Lincoln

Song of the Day: It's My Life by Bon Jovi

Shot of the Day: A 15 year old Amish girl was shot and killed in a crazy accident from a rifle shot over a mile and a half away...  Read Here.

Rest in Peace, Mrs. Ponchot

Mary Louise Ponchot

Obituary

I was going to write light today, but I can't when someone who was a huge influence on who I am today has passed on.  Mary Lou Ponchot, known as Mrs. Ponchot to most of us from Bellevue, died at Christ Hospital on December 17th at the age of 67.  I remember as a freshman, I had my first class with Mrs. Ponchot and boy was she scary.  There are classes on the your first day, you know you are going to get away with things.  I'd like to see a kid who did and lived to tell about it in her class.  She taught math; algebra and geometry for me, integrated math for others, but she always had a way to get you to understand it.  She was a stern woman, and truly cared about getting the most out of her students.  I remember doing homework for her and you'd have to go up to the board and do it in front of the whole class.  Sure some would stumble from problem to problem, but she was standing right there to walk you through it.  I took Algebra II with my friend Rob and I remember she called on him to do a problem and I guess he was day dreaming or something.  It was about a simple problem we had on homework, and Rob sat there with a blank look on his face.  The whole class was silent.  You could hear a pin drop in the room.  She was like, "Come on.  Answer.  It's a bunny."  I began laughing uncontrollably.  You know those moments you get when you can't stop?  I had one of those in Ponchot's class.  I was telling myself..."You gotta stop.  You gotta stop."  I just couldn't.  She stared at me as if I were ridiculous.  She was a tough cookie.  Some say she resembled Janet Reno.  The woman could do math and she could get you to understand it which was the most important thing.  I'm average at math.  She turned me into an "A" student.  I ran into her a few times since graduation and we had some very in depth conversations.  She was pure at heart; a nice lady.  She remembered stories about me from high school I didn't even remember.  She was interested in what I was doing with my life.  You can tell when people ask those things and don't really care.  They just ask to be nice.  She asked because she truly was curious how I was applying myself.  She saw something in me.  She didn't want whatever I had inside to go to waste.  She was hard on us to get the best out of us.  She never expected a thank you, she did it because she cared about you.  When I found out she was sick, it hit me. Not her. Not Mrs. Ponchot.  She can't be sick, but you know they say God won't give you anything you can't handle.  She's a strong lady and she didn't lay down.  I remember hearing the news a few years ago, so she hung on and fought.  I would be lying if I said I'm not a little shaken up today.  There are people who come into your life and you forget about them, but there are a few who touch you in such a way that you can't explain.  There truly are angels here on Earth and Mrs. Ponchot was one.  Some saw her as a grumpy old lady who was just mean.  She wasn't though.  Just talk to her.  Have a conversation.  She never saw those kids as little punks.  She saw their potential.  She knew everybody's name.  She knew me years after I graduated.  She taught everyone as if they were the only one in the class.  Bellevue is a tight nit community, and we just lost a motherly figure.  There isn't one of you out there that walked into that school during her time that she didn't touch.  She cared about us, more than she did herself, and did it without expecting anything in return.  My one regret is I didn't say, "thank you" the last time I saw her.  Just thank you for being there for me.  Thank you for believing in me.  Thank you for being you.  Cancer is an uglyness that is in this world.  I watched my grandmother turn into a shell of herself, which is the hardest thing I've seen in this beautiful world.  How can a world so beautiful have something so ugly?  Why does God have to take Mrs. Ponchot out of this world in such a way when she didn't deserve it?  I know one thing is for sure, up there in Heaven, Jesus better be doing his homework.  If not she knows he didn't.  Rest in peace Mary Lou.  We mourn you.  You have two children by blood, but you have a large extended family of students who would join me in saying that without you in our lives we wouldn't be the same. There are so many negative influences out in this world, especially as a teenager.  You were a positive one to me, and many others out there.  You will be dearly missed.  My prayers are with your family and friends and the alumni, students, and staff of Bellevue High School.  We love you, and I know it's late... "THANK YOU."

My year in meeting new People, Ohio Drivers, Getting my licence, & Kim Jong-il

Coming up next week, I will be doing my year in review blog including the winners and losers of the year.  The awards blog is something I used to do in the old MySpace blogging days, and I thought I'd bring the tradition back.  2011 was a roller coaster of a year for me.  In January, I had no idea where my life was going to be.  My body was rotting away, working at a parking garage.  I applied the hell out of applications.  I filled out hundreds upon hundreds of applications.  I had a few call backs after sending in my resume to Channel 5 and Channel 9.  I was feeling confident.  I wore my suit and everything.  I never got hired on at either place.  In April, I took a job working nights as a security officer.  The job paid well and I made some really good friends working there.  You do a lot of talking working security because there is a lot of dead time.  I hated the job.  It brought a lot of stress on and working nights, when I was off which wasn't much because I worked 6 shifts a week, I was a zombie.  I was never really awake, but never really asleep.  I would never know the hours I'd be working because my position allowed me to work overtime like every night.  I hated it.  It sucks not knowing how much sleep you were going to be getting on a given night.  I met Frank at the job.  He was in his 80's and he was one of the coolest old men I've ever met.  He'd talk your ear off and he was always willing to work overtime.  I met Roger Brandenburg as well.  I made up a food chain if I ever get a loan.  We'd call it Brandenburgers.  Here was the logo for it:

I met Alice (the fan of sci-fi stuff like Dr. Who) and Chad Pendelton.  Chad thinks he's better than me at Wiffleball.  The dude even saw this and still believes it.  So naive.

Chad loved my Bernie though.  He made me do it through the X-Ray things at work, and if you ever wanted to get through security, do it through the DHL hub at the airport.  Guys like me were running security over there for God's sake.  Here's the Bernie Chad loved so much.

I met Ireland who I don't know how he worked the amount of hours he did.  He was a freak of nature who knew tons about technology.  I worked with the 3 Brians on Saturday mornings.  Overstreet, the boss, Keller one of the coolest people that worked at that place, and Williams, a tall black man who had been through so much awesome stuff in his life.  He had a story for everything.  He bought my old pool table off of me which allowed me to buy the 40 inch television that is now in my room.  During my time there, stress got to me pretty bad and I developed this abscess under my armpit and it got so bad I had to have it surgically removed.  Also on my birthday, the day I turned 26, I hit my rock bottom with my health.  My birthday was also the day I lost my insurance.  I was rushed from work to the ER on my birthday.  I nearly passed out.  I had a lethal case of high blood pressure and high blood sugar.  I vowed then and there I was going to change.  Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to get back up.  The second half of the year was on the up and up.  I owe Mitch Hammond my life for helping me get an interview for the opportunity I have right now at Great American.  I started here about 6 months ago and my life has changed for the better.  My coworkers here are amazing.  I met Nicolette from working here, who has been an amazing friend....I had a roller coaster of a ride in our friendship to say the least...which is a microcosm of my entire year... and I get to work with Mindy who without her, I wouldn't have lasted 3 days on the job.  I work in front of Bill who I can play my one liners off of and he knows a little about fantasy football.  I became closer to Jill, a friend of mine who gave me her bus passes when I first started here and we do lunch every now and then.  She's an avid blog reader.  I became better friends with Mallory who is Mindy's good friend.  We meet her for lunch once every other week ago.  I owe her for talking me into a second trip to Burrito Joe's because I love it now!  This year also brought me closer to my friend, April.  She got her first house in Bellevue, which is a city where there should be a statue built of me somewhere.  I get to see her a lot more and we have gotten a lot closer than the good friends we already were.  Through April I met Maria.  Maria was someone I knew of, but never really talked to until she gave me some relationship advice.  She reached her hand out for a complete stranger, and you all know me I hate getting advice, but with her I was so grateful.  She asked me to comment on Ohio drivers today, and it's the least I could do after what she's done for me.  This part is for Kelly Clarkson's number one fan...  Okay when I was younger, I heard my dad complain about Ohio drivers.  I don't believe in superstitions, jinxes or anything like that, so when you say well if you live on one side of a river it determines whether you are a good driver or not.  I thought it was ludicrous (yes spell checked helped me because the only way I knew how to spell it was Ludacris like the rapper) to believe someone from Ohio could suck at driving just because they were from Ohio.  At 16, like any other kid I wanted my licence really bad.  I went and took my temps test with minimal studying because I hate studying and the first hurdle I had was the vision test.  Back in high school I had 20-20 vision.  The lady kept saying, "Which sign is popping out?"  I said, "I'm not sure. 1?" She was like, "Try again." I said, "2?" "No." "3?" "Nope."  I was like, "Ma'am I promise you I have depth perception but I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing."  She told me the proper answer and let me go on to the test, which I passed by one point.  Sarah, my sister, took three tries to pass.  I have bragging rights. Anyway, at my driver's test I took it with a large woman as my tester or whatever you call them.  She had trouble fitting in my 1986 Chevrolet Cavalier station wagon.  My dad found this car for 250 bucks and I loved it.  The radio didn't work unless you punched it from time to time and the horn was put in by my dad and it was so weak it sounded like John C. Reilly's fart in Step Brothers. The windshield wipers were ghettofied.  You had to turn them on by a switch down by the pedals.  At the test, the lady was like, "Turn on your windshield wipers."  I reached for the switch.  The lady said, "Sir I said the windshield wipers."  I flipped the switch and said, "I'm sorry ma'am.  They turn on down here."  She looked at me with a grumpy face and squeezed in.  I tried to put the seat back for her, but it wouldn't budge.  She looked so uncomfortable almost like how it looks when you have an over stuffed draw but you slam and slam it until it goes in.  The whole time driving I kept going, I'm going to fail.  I'm going to fail.  I got to this red light and I was supposed to go left once it turned green.  I was so nervous so I wasn't thinking clearly.  The light switched.  I began moving.  I heard a gasp from the passenger seat and a yell, "STTTTTOOOPPPPPP!"  I looked up a pedestrian was crossing.  I had almost hit someone during my test.  I for sure had failed.  During my parallel parking I parked at least two feet from the curb because I knew hitting the curb is an automatic fail.  I was willing to risk getting a point taken off and salvage like a high failing grade.  I pulled into the finish and the lady handed me the scoresheet.  She said something along the line of "Congratulations."  I couldn't believe it.  I had passed by one point.  She only took two points on for nearly hitting that person.  I believe she was just scared to ever see me again.  Laura, my sister, failed her first try so I have bragging rights over her.  Anyway, that awesome feeling when you go back to school and hold up your licence is one of the best feeling in the world.  Once I got on the road, I was scared to drive in Ohio, because downtown looked so intimidating.  Of course I began drifting over here.  Believe it or not I am a risk taker.  Everything is one way over here.  Everything.  The problem is if you pass up where you are going you have to go all the way around the block.  The people that are from here (you can tell who they are because they have to have licence plates on both sides of their car) refuse to follow the rules.  They randomly stop.  They cut you off and slam on their brakes.  None of them are polite enough to let you over.  Ohio has no signs to point you in the right direction.  I remember one time Stu and I were driving home from UC in Clifton and somehow ended up in Delhi.  I think their terrible driving is truly a reflection of where they are from.  They are rude.  They don't care about other drivers.  I am a defense first driver anyway, but if I'm near an Ohio driver I go to super defense mode; I'm even scared to yield because I was rear ended by an Ohio driver because I yielded and he was dreaming about Jim Tressel or something and slammed right into me.  I often tease my sister Laura about her driving but even she's freaking A.J. Foyt compared to Ohio drivers.  They are always in such a God Damn hurry for no reason at all.  Why is this world always in a hurry?  There is no point.  Speeding may get you to a stoplight faster.  Stop and smell the roses every once in a while.  Ohio drivers don't.  You don't want to be them.  I'm a slow mover.  My mom always says I was born two weeks late and never caught up.  So I take my time.  I appreciate the little things. I pay attention to detail.  I notice things no one else does.  It's not a coincidence.  It's just because I take time to digest.  We've all had that encounter with an Ohio driver.  Just be careful because they are a product of where they come from.  It's not a stereotype when it's true and I've never seen a good Ohio driver.  If you've seen one let me know, because I'd love to take a ride with them and blog about it!

Winner of the Day: The world.  Kim Jong-il died, from being il.  His son is taking over which is scary because they say he may be even crazier than his dad who wanted to blow the world up.  God help us. We win today though, because Kim is dead.  Not the Kardashian Kim we aren't that lucky. The story.   In this year, we lost Bin Laden, Gaddafi, and Jong-il.  The new Axis of evil is dead.  Now what? P.S. Way too much head room in this picture.

Loser of the Day: The Jets.  They lost to Philly, whom they have never beaten in their history.  Now let's hope the Bengals win out and the Jets lose at least one of their next two.  Then Cincy gets in the playoffs. And Fireman Ed is a douchebag.

Quote of the Day: In life, we choose whether or not we want to be a winner or a loser. -Patrick Boles


Song of the Day: The Climb by Miley Cyrus (This is for a close friend of mine.  They know who they are.  I don't even know if you like Miley but it doesn't matter.  You get so many mountains that God asks you to climb and I really want you to listen to the lyrics).  

Noodle of the Day: The lasagna noodle.